This is Not a Hat
My favorite hat in all of art, here.
Confounding the calumniators and apostates
My favorite hat in all of art, here.
Nigerian scammer taken down. I thought naming the head of the church Shiver Metimbers was the best cross-cultural bluff since captured U.S. pilots told their North Vietnamese interrogators that their senior officers were Bart Starr and Ray Nitschke.
Typically intelligent but rigidly capitalist in ideology, the Economist endorses Kerry. (But he won't confront his party on outsourcing, he waffles on something or other and thank goodness the Congress will kill the health plan).
I am compelled to refute Dr. X's suggestion that American painters would eschew painting breasts, begining with the priceless folk art below.
Whew! Greenbay 28 Washington 14. I'm glad that monkey is off our back. When Washington wins their last home game before the presidential election, the incumbent party always wins the election. When Washington loses, the incumbent party loses. Read about it here. This bodes very badly for Bush! Let's hope that Brett farvre just saved the world.
Latest polls show a hard tie, which a challenger wins about 75-80% of the time. The movement this weekend is generally towards Kerry. As Dr. X pointed out, early turnout is absolutely massive, another good sign.
"The U.S. official said "a political spinoff (of al-Qaida) is one of the greatest fears" of U.S. counter-terrorism authorities, in which bin Laden and the terror network follow the path of the Palestine Liberation Organization, Hezbollah and members of the Irish Republican Army. Over the years, those groups evolved from having an emphasis on committing terrorism into broader organizations with influential, widely accepted political wings."
In response to the latest terror tape, Bush calls a meeting, tells people to handle it. "White House spokesman Scott McClellan said the president directed them to make sure any necessary action is taken in regards to the tape."
I suggest you nattering nautical nabobs get your downtime with the Lie Girls
Take a look at this simple Google search. They are expecting 70%+ turnout in California, Missouri, New Hampshire... In Oregon, turnout is up to 45% already (31% in 2000).
Virginia Kice, a spokeswoman for Immigration and Customs Enforcement, said agents went to Pufferbelly based on a trademark infringement complaint filed in the agency's intellectual property rights center in Washington, D.C.
"Russian special forces troops moved many of Saddam Hussein's weapons and related goods out of Iraq and into Syria in the weeks before the March 2003 U.S. military operation, The Washington Times has learned.
Gentlemen: I will be out of communication after early this afternoon, as I must set sail with the next tide. I wanted to share this dialog with you before I part:
First Sea Lord,
I look forward in great Anticipation to next week, when we will run the Enemy to ground! I have acquired the use of a DEMOCRACYMOBILE, to take our cause TO THE PEOPLE, in this time of greatest Need! Let us, who are Democrats, protect and defend our good COUNTRY against the Attempts of all Republicans, who this year intend to take America, our happy Country, to dispose our Liberties; to OPPRESS our Wives and Daughters; to rob us of our Property, and to teach us nothing but the damn'd Art of murdering one another!
'Til our Rendezvous in SEATTLE, I remain,
- Lieut. V.M. Marsch
VM Marsch, Lt.Aboard ActiveSir-I present my complements; You are requested and required to proceed NNW at once, and make the Puget Sound passage in Haste, making all Sail, without DELAY, or REGARD for Care or Niceness of appearance. On encountering friendly vessels, You are to signal that you are carrying despatches, and will not stop for provis - Excepting that you may make a prize of Nader's Raider, and Press her crew forthwith. At the rendevous in Elliot Bay, you shall make the private signal, and salute with three guns at 3 bells in the forenoon watch. There you shall load beer, coffee, biscotti, and best powder. Until arr you are directed to discomfit the Enemy at will, granting no quarter nor more mercy than has been shown to us, but do not miss the rendevous. These Sir are the Requirements of LIBERTY.Right Hon. JA Bollenbach,First Sea LordPSAnd Marsch, at action, do not fuss about with a taking down a foretopmast and soiling her laundry. Burn, Sink, Destroy, and Bury. Also, bring good walking shoes.
Try to beat my top score: 85608
"Drop everything and do it right now. This is the best PlayStation 2 game ever made. Period."
I hope Katherine Harris doesn't try to capitalize on this by hiring one of those contemptable trial lawayers.
"Bush Relatives for Kerry" grew out of a series of conversations that took place between a group of people that have two things in common: they are all related to George Walker Bush, and they are all voting for John Kerry. As the election approaches, we feel it is our responsibility to speak out about why we are voting for John Kerry, and to do our small part to help America heal from the sickness it has suffered since George Bush was appointed President in 2000.
On top of the recent discovery of the giant chimp, current homind evolutionary theory is thrown another huge curve with the discovery of real hobbits - three feet tall proportionate humans that lived as recently as 12,ooo years ago, nearly in the historical period, around Indonesia, just across the Brandywine. I'm sorry, I made that last bit up.
Get it here.
This is brilliant.
The Alaska Aces just got better - a LOT better.
Huge Cache of Explosives Vanished From Site in Iraq: "The bomb that brought down Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, in 1988 used less than a pound of the same type of material"
Are, entertainingly, here.
Virgin strangely gets into a bit of a kerfuffle with a line of SS dolls.
What is it with conservative southern California and money? First Orange County loses its shirt due to a failure to understand a concept we financial professionals like to call "risk".
Remember the Anchorage mayoral election of the mid-'80s that brought in Tom Fink? Okay, I wasn't here at the time, but I've heard about it. The loser, Dave Walsh, tried to set realistic (low) expectations of the economy after the oil bust, while Fink waxed ebullient. Fink played to voters' hopes, and the rest is history.
Want to print a folder listing in Windows? Good luck.
Microsoft's new firewall (aka "the dumbest software ever") just notified me that it is blocking certain suspicious activities of a suspicious program that is acting suspiciously. The suspicious program: Windows Media Player.
If further proof were needed, Wikipedia is invaluable again in explaining the multitude of jokes and chiches around modern geek culture. Here is way more than a person ever needs to know about Slashdot...
Former Navy Secretary John Lehman said Thursday that the Pentagon has pinpointed the location of Osama bin Laden in the Baluchistan Region of Western Pakistan, but is holding back on rounding him up until the day before the election...I mean, because it could destabilize the government of Pakistani leader Pervez Musharraf.
Scientists at the University of Florida made a living 'brain' by extracting 25,000 neurons from a rat's brain and culturing them inside a glass dish...
The information here is much like the headline. Also, there are a new set of articles out (NYT, WA Post, others).
NYT Headline if you missed it: Ohio GOP enlisting thousands of voter challengers, to "check" up on voters at the polls and directly challenge their ability to vote while people are trying to vote. It would be one thing if there was the slightest reason to believe this was anything but intimidation and an attempt to gum up the works and prevent people from voting. I presume they are stopping short of physical intimidation - on they other hand, why would one necessarily assume that? Dirty tricks are one thing, but a REVIVAL of aggressive, organized voter intimidation is a direct assault on democracy.
Let's say you're guilty of running a GOP consulting firm lying to voters and tossing Democratic registrations, not in one, not in two, but in lots of states.
Two righteous goofs hit a glancing pie-blow on Ann Coulter.
Dr. X, who no doubt is busy trying to extract some remnant marrow of the bear bones* of the market this week, recently proposed buying everyone in the United States a car as a reward for voting, which would be cheaper and better for the environment and economy than the totality of Administration's deficit spending in the last four miserable years.
I have a movie recommendation: Team America: World Police.
BBC: We are currently consuming 20% more natural resources than the earth can produce.
London, arguably a hotter and more cutting edge of an art scene than New York, and the center of a decades long rise of conceptual over the visual, caves in: "Painting is always with us," says a major critic (and former opponent) and painting completes a type of return to the center of art.
Number of people who have downloaded the Jon Stewart clip from IFilm: 670,000
Pat Robertson, noted for his 1-900 number to God, is now saying that Bush, also famously addressed by God, told him that "we weren't going to have any casualties going into Iraq."
Recently, on a whim I went to Las Vegas and while there discovered THE TRUTH about Area51. Here's an excerpt from my memoirs:
I am in a badly maintained American-made rental car, on a maze of rocky, potholed roads with no discernable landmarks. I have no idea whether or not there is a spare tire. I havent seen another soul in 2 hours. It is 100 degrees outside and I have exactly 1/2 of a cup of warm mineral water and a small bag of Planters Mixed nuts. I didn't even have the foresight to bring a friend along that I could kill and eat in an emergency. This would be a very foolish way to die, but I must persevere.
--Check out the rest of the story on The Bagpiping Road
The Stewart interview is only growing in stature and distribution over the last few days, lauded demurely here by the Times. It certainly reminded me of the difference between common self-righteousness and the rather more rare and valuable actual righteousness.
I've been reading a really swell book about Talleyrand (Duff Cooper, 1932) which should be required reading for all surviverists.
Yep, it happened.
Jon Stewart recently posited that Tucker Carlson is a "dick." Let us evaluate the applicability of this verbal dicktification of Tucker "Dick" Carlson.
Is what Red Sox fans must be asking themselves right now.
Dana Stevens / Liz Penn says:
A Toshiba flat screen television, distraught over its role in the decline of civilization sends its own SOS out into the heavens.
In exactly the same sense that Custer won at Little Big Horn.
I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for why this guy was paid in crack cocaine to register voters...
Jerry Rice and his agent have been granted permission to speak to Seattle about a possible trade before Tuesday's 1 p.m. NFL trade deadline.
It occured to me only now that the popular notion of Bush being controlled by a circle of capable (if evil) handlers like Cheney is only an illusion to comfort us. The truth may well be much scarier.
The final final version of Return of the King due out, with 50 more minutes of footage, 12/14.
Message #1: We're nervous stumblebums and can't get out of our own way in a big game.
FBI raids offices of Indymedia, seizes hard drives; eventually returns them.
Ah, hello. Well first of all I'd like to apologize for the behaviour of certain of my colleagues you may have seen earlier, but they are from broken homes, circus families and so on and they are in no way representative of the new modern improved British Navy. They are a small vociferous minority; and may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit, but all new ratings are warned that if they wake up in the morning and find toothmarks at all anywhere on their bodies, they're to tell me immediately so that I can immediately take every measure to hush the whole thing up. And, finally, necrophilia is right out.
At 10 a.m. tomorrow, the Seahawks invade Patsieville, for The Big Game. How big is the game? It's going to make the police action in Korea look like a traffic stop, ok? If the Seahawks win, both they and the Patriots will be 4-1. If they lose, they drop to 3-2, into the Lame Mediocrity Division, and the Patriots are 5-0, set a new consecutive victory record, and roll on to Super Sunday.
It's actually a rather good summary, with just a touch of grounded outrage.
Ed Belfour with 35 saves in Toronto's 2-1 victory over the Senators... He was busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest!
"We cannot simply suspend or restrict civil liberties until the War of Terror is over, because the War on Terror is unlikely ever to be truly over," Judge Gerald Tjoflat wrote for the three-member court. "September 11, 2001, already a day of immeasurable tragedy, cannot be the day liberty perished in this country."
Salon on the Alaska Senate race.
Karl Rove, one of President Bush’s top White House aides, testified this morning before a federal grand jury investigating the leak of a CIA operative's name by administration sources. Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald questioned Rove about his contacts with journalists in what a source familiar with Rove's situation said was his third appearance before the grand jury...
Guardian poll shows Americans still popular, but the world wishes the "foreign policy" president would go away.
Jon Stewart torches 'Crossfire' hosts - NY Daily News
Schadenfreude breakin' out all over - and although there may be no more obvious link in all the inter-web than something on the Smoking Gun, here is the Bill O'Reilly sexual harassment lawsuit.
Just can't stop reading/thinking about John Stewart's little ambush. The defining moment for me, of half a decade of bullshit: He says to Tucker (A Bigger Idiot Than I Thought) Carlson - "I'm not going to be your monkey."
In friendly way (well, at first anyway), John Stewart cut Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala to ribbons on Crossfire (transcript here). In the public interest, here is an excerpt:
For those of you sobbing into your Old Milwaukee over the loss of the NHL season (I know I am) here is a bit of solace. G4Techtv (whom I otherwise loath) are playing the entire 04-05 season and playoffs in real time via the miracle of the Sony PlayStation 2. Every night they host a hockey update where they go over the day's scores and even show highlights. All we're missing from the real thing is the blood.
A mere thirty years after the PC came into being, you can search it in some kind of rapid and coherent way with this new google oogler.
This Times commentator makes a good point. The sum of Bush's three debate performances is worse than any of the parts individually, as a different Bush showed up each time, as if his doctor is playing around with his meds. First debate: Bush up past his bedtime, having a triple-biorythm low, serotonin deficit, low blood sugar, and behaving like someone who can't believe he's losing a game of Monopoly. Second debate: Bush the rage-aholic that sends the children scurrying to hide in their rooms while he dishes out heapin' helpin's of belligerence. Third debate: the meds kick in, resulting not in a "Happy Bush", but a "Slaphappy Bush".
A CBS News poll of uncommitted voters who watched the debate found Kerry won, 39% to 25%, with 36% calling it a tie.
The conservative Republican congressman — who wrote a column condemning Janet Jackson's nude display during her 2004 Super Bowl halftime performance — apparently bared his bottom with about 300 others in a stunt that ended with arrests and a clash with police.
I've been reading about common types of cognitive distortions this evening, which cognitive behavioral therapists see as the root cause of neuroses (anxiety, depression, compulsions, etc.); why otherwise rational people do irrational things.
"Freedom was attacked."
"The way to deal with this problem is not to suddenly become a police state and say we're not going to be free, and we're not going to go about our lives."
"Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists."
I was amazed to hear at my local Democratic party meeting that there will be at least one real lawyer, acting as an observer, at every single one of the 400 some precincts around Seattle: part of a national plan.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Well, I am no longer a virginally pure piper. Last Saturday I had my first semi-paid gig, recieving a bottle of Scotch for a performance for a friend's British mother in law. This photo is part of my procession down the street to her house. The bullet-proof vest makes me look a little paunchy don't you think? For more info and another pic, check out the story on The Bagpiping Road, Aye!
Thanks again to Dr. X for citing this meta poll site. It's format has been expanded and updated since last week - you can search for pollster bias, not that there is any, easily now.
More than two-thirds of the people living in Australia, Britain and Italy -- three countries allied with the United States in the Iraq war -- believe the war has increased the threat of terrorism.
Amid fanfare fit for actual world-class athletes, five Americans with really quick fingers took home the gold medal in the popular “Counter Strike” competition of the World Cyber Games championships, capping five days of intense gaming by the world’s elite.
Every four years, I propose my ultimate cannot-lose plan to get elected president, and every four years, the major parties (and the minor ones too, for that matter) ignore me.
An enjoyable gallery of wrecked expensive cars.
I remember stepping off a train in Philadelphia in the early 1990's. As I approached the cabstand, 12 cabbies of various nationalities rushed to offer their services, each trying to explain, in the accent of his native land, why his particular cab service was uniquely indispensible. Like a good German, I picked the first one in line.
This is completely astounding, maybe the biggest naturalist discovery of your life - the BBC reports the discovery of a new species of giant ape - somewhere between apes and chimps.
After hitting the BBC, Salon, and the NYT, the rumor based on tape that Bush was wearing a wire harness on his back, visible through his suit, is threatening to turn into a story. Of course, the rumor has its not completely unconvincing own blog.
But I will cite an analysis I stumbled across that I rather liked. Summary - Bush improves, Kerry doesn't seal it, but Kerry takes it, maybe more than the performance would suggest.
"That's why I proposed a hydrogen generated automobile"
None. "There's nothing wrong with that light bulb. It has served us honorably. When you say it's burned out, you're giving encouragement to the forces of darkness. Once we install a light bulb, we never, ever change it. Real men don't need artificial light."
CNN.com - Disks in Iraq hold details about U.S. schools: "The Homeland Security official said the material was associated with a specific individual in Iraq, and it could not be established that this man had any ties to terrorism. He did have a connection to civic groups doing planning for schools in Iraq, the official said."
But photography is also an art....
Eisengeiste officially referenced on the Talk like a pirate day website. We are internationally famous!
If you missed it, get Samantha Bee's take on undecided voters here.
That deficit's a big one, I tell ya! Trillions and trillions. I haven't seen so many zeroes since the Russians scored me making love to my wife.
Well, the Liquitex campaign photo shoot is over, and I'll be appearing in an interview in a series of spots for their 50th anniversary, along with the other famous art Jamie, Wyeth (son of Andrew), in one or another major art magazines, thus getting me in the back door. Much to their credit, the interview had almost nothing to do with the paint (which, thank god for my internal sense of ethics, I happen to like and in fact need to create this side body of work) and the experience has so far been very pleasant and free of that certain queasy feeling.
No rambling off in the general direction of funny. If you ever needed relief from the deadly light observation on airline food, Dangerfield was the General Sherman of comedy, some classics here .
During sex my wife always wants to
talk to me. Just the other night she
called me from a hotel.
He's a fat man,a fat man I tell ya. Why every time he smokes..he blows
She was known as a two bagger.
That's when a girl is so ugly that
you put a bag over your head in
case the bag over her head breaks.
"Doctor.. everyI once read he prepared three months for a two-minute shot on the Tonight Show.
* morning when I get up and look in
* the mirror..I feel like throwing up;
* what's wrong with me?" He said.."I
* don't know but your eyesight is
* I remember when I swallowed a bottle
* of sleeping pills. He told me to
* have a few drinks and get some rest.
* I told him I think my wife has VD.
* He gave himself a shot of
Jackie Harvey is always a treat, but this is one of the great segues:
Where to begin? Cheney takes a break from surly dissembling for a moment of surly self delusion, regarding the devastating official US WMD weapons report, which clearly justifies the Iraq war. Apparrantly.
Canadian Submarine fire off Scotland. One Sailor dies. 2nd hand sub was one of 4 recently purchased from the UK.
Kansas City figures out how to stop Ray Lewis: have someone block him.
After years of casual curiosity, I discovered that when roasting chestnuts, it's important to prick a hole in them, or you get exploding chestnuts, like giant exploding popcorn kernels of Wotan.
Michael Moore has his moments. Who else in American history could have uttered this:
If you missed it on NPR, Dick Cheney's surly suggestion (one of the few men to have truly mastered the surly "Happy Birthday") to go to factcheck.com to prove wrong the Halliburton charge does this.
After the Ken Starr abomination, I'm surprised to find myself favoring an investigatory outside counsel. But in Tom Delay's case, maybe it's just the ticket.
This promises to have as much effect on the election's outcome as does the typical veep debate. No knockout blows were landed. Partisans for each candidate will take comfort.
Moose on the Loose by Marshall Wittmann: "Incompetence and hubris in the defense of liberty are not virtues."
There's a special hockey player that I wanna give a Happy Birthday shout out to: that's right, it's Mario Lemieux's birthday today!
Evidently, Canada has at least one submarine. And it's in trouble.
e --> e online, with a sick picture of mutant...oh wait, that's Donald Trump
Apparently Houston Texans quarterback David Carr vowed last year that he wouldn't get his hair cut until his team won two straight. He must have been pretty nervous because it took a long time! But this week the Houston Texans finally won back-to-back games for the first time, and Carr finally got his haircut!
The Drudge Reports suspects Kerry cheated at the debate by pulling something out of his pocket at the podium, in violation of the memorandum of understanding between the candidates. The link above includes another link to the video evidence.
Willamette Week Online | SHUT UP and VOTE!: "'A good war is based on honor, not deception,' says K'tok (Earth name: Clyde Lewis), a 40-year-old Klingon from Lair Hill. 'The first warrior, President Bush, deceived us all with this war.'"
Sadly, it turns out that press reinforcement and support of the disingenuous posturing of public figures is not limited to Republican politicians, but is a service provided players in the National Football League, as well.
Subject: Texas Hairstylists for Truth
My wife and I watched the Texans beat the Raiders this weekend, ending their streak of not winning two games in a row. The commentors on CBS were making quite a big deal about David Carr's famous oath not to get a haircut until the Texans achieved this.
To my understanding, this oath taken last September. Now, it was pretty obvious to us that Carr had had his hair cut since then -- hair ends don't natrually grow evenly and make a nice straight line on the back of your neck.
I did a little research, and an article by Len Pasquarelli on ESPN.com before the season began confirmed the obvious: "Truth be told, David Carr has actually fudged a bit during his haircut hiatus, succumbing to the occasional trim, the latest less than two months ago."
We're told (repeatedly, ad nauseum) that David Carr will not get his hair cut until the Texans win two in a row. But, when he says, "not get his hair cut," he means, "not get it cut very much," or, "not get it cut unless it really needs it."
My question: Is this what passes for "truth" in Houston? How did CBS verify that David Carr had not had his hair cut? Did they consult independent experts do verify Carr's claims? Why did they repeatedly report this (patently false) story?
Thank you for your jounalistic diligence and integrity.
The 9-11 Commission Report and the resignation of George Tenet have opened the doors to a major reform of US intelligences operations. First of all we have a new CIA chief, Porter Goss, a non-partisan executive who will no doubt aggressively protect and defend the agency and its agents.
Nader continues his evolution from respected progressive to a pool of pus, plans to focus his campaign on swing states.
"A group of veterans has challenged the validity of the three Purple Hearts that Mr. Kerry received for wounds he suffered while serving on Swift boats in the Vietnam war. These critics suggested that the shrapnel that hit him in one mission was rice, not metal.
... My ass.
I'm going to hell for linking to this, but some of these are funny. Although the North Korean one is just...wrong...ew.
San Francisco hotel workers strike four hotels, other hotels lock everyone out and bring in replacement workers. That'll teach 'em to ask for healthcare.
Our pal Shane has invited us to go see GWAR on Novemeber 29th at the DNA Lounge in San Francisco. It didn't take much convincing, given his decription of the last GWAR concert he went to. Still, I did a little research to see what I was getting into.
"Normally, you find exotics outstripping the natives. Here, a native (species) basically kicked the butt of an exotic.''
Kingpin is not to be trifled with, getting no less than three blurbs from Fry.
‘Union Club, Havana, 7 October 1925
My dearest son,
You must keep this letter to read it again when you are 21 because things that you do not know and understand now you will know and understand then. First of all, you must always respect and love your mother above all else. Try never to tell her lies; always tell her the truth. Your father, writing these lines, has a reputation throughout the whole world for being a very honest man – very truthful and honourable. Try to imitate me in all this. Be studious and strong so that you can defend your mother and your sister with your head as well as with your hands. Whatever wishes you may have to study a particular thing, remember that in any case you must become a lawyer before anything else, so that you can defend your own interests and those of your family. After you have become a lawyer you can, if you prefer something else, concentrate on whatever you like. Don’t forget that the best period of a man’s life is when he is a student. As a boy this will not seem so to you, but when you have gone through that stage and reached the age of 40 you will see the truth of what I am telling you. On the physical side, there are two things you must know how to do well – swim and box, so that you can defend yourself at sea as well as on land. This does not mean that you should often fight, but that you must be prepared to do so if necessary.
Try to be a man of wide culture. There is nothing in the world as entertaining as books. It is also necessary to be useful to humanity. If you can avoid it, never play cards, smoke or drink alcohol of any kind. These are bad habits which greatly shorten life and weaken men physically as well as intellectually and morally.
Be an honest and good man.
Your father embraces you with all his love.
[From 1916 to 1924 Capablanca did not lose a game of chess. Not one.]
SI.com: Ichiro breaks single-season hits record - Friday October 1, 2004 11:24PM
The correct reaction to the debate is, to shamelessly blow sunshine on myself, to do something like this afternoon's pastime - walk outside my door with a big stupid paper sign that said "Last Chance Voter Registration" and sign up 28 people in cars at the light. What was amazing in this deeply dorky act was how many kinds words , and even a rice krispy treat, I received.
Burt Rutan's Space Ship One may win the X-prize, but with backing from Paul Allen, they have taken on the look of "Team Budweiser". Yes, it is a cool ship, and it is probably going to win, but was there little doubt seeing as they have already spent the X-prize 3 times over in development?
Josh Marshall followed this story today, starting here.
So the Fox reporter covering the Kerry campaign puts together this Kerry-bashing parody right out of the RNC playbook with phony quotes intended to peg him as girlish fool and somehow it found its way on the Fox website as a news item.