Eisengeiste

A sad tale

2012-01-31T19:37:00.000-08:00

Change is hard

2012-01-31T19:30:00.000-08:00

A letter from a former slave to his former master. The last line is priceless.

Cats and dogs living together, etc.

2012-01-31T18:13:00.000-08:00

I was down in LA last week and flipped on the radio. They were talking about the Lakers - in troubled, fearful tones. Something's wrong, the team is struggling, and this violates the natural order of the universe. For most of the past half century, the Lakers have been one of the two or three best teams in basketball. Now, under a new coach and trying to learn a new offense, the team is not performing as well.

Radio Guy #1: Kobe's turnovers are up a bit this year.
Radio Guy #2: Well, they say his injury's worse than people say. They say he can't feel his hand.
Radio Guy #1: Too bad his teammates can't get their own food.

Good point there. Despite the injury Bryant has been able to lead the team in points and assists. And the Laker's aren't bad - they're 12-9 after all, and in second place in the division.

But there is anxiety -even fear in their voices. It is about the unearthly...unreal...unnatural witch's sabbath occurring across town, where the perennial laughingstock of the NBA, the Los Angeles Clippers, have fulfilled the prophecy of Blake Griffin and transformed Staples Center into Lob City. They started the season by beating the Lakers. And they are first in the division.

The Clippers have three of the ten plays on Monday's highlight reel, including, at #1, Griffin's candidate for Dunk of the Year.

Fears for the natural order receded a little bit when the Lakers defeated the Clippers last Wednesday. But the genie is out of the bottle. There is a spectre haunting Los Angeles. The iceman cometh. A terrible beauty is born.

The sun would like a word

2012-01-29T18:31:00.001-08:00

(link)

21st century pleasures of ambiguous legality

2012-01-28T14:17:00.000-08:00

(With due respect to Robert Hass.)

I really don't have strong views on the SOPA, RIAA, or PIPA. But I do know this: in no other time could I dial up this playlist:

Propellerheds, History Repeating
Glenn Miller, Chattanooga Choo-Choo
LMFAO, Party Rock Anthem
Ike Turner, The New Breed
Doc Watson, Wabash Cannonball

Whether that's a good thing or bad thing, I leave to others. I believe it passes Benthamite criteria, although perhaps not the strictest application of the categorical imperative. Neither test appears to be of concern to modern policymakers in any case, who serve The One True Master.

Party on, for now...

The family motto

2012-01-28T10:06:00.000-08:00

I told my kids the story of Shakespeare's family coat-of-arms, and his choice of motto:

"Non Sans Droit" --> "Not Without Right"

Which, of course, Ben Jonson satirized as "Not Without Mustard" (link).

So, what should our family motto be?

I proposed "Dignity: Always Dignity" (link), but the boys prefer "There Are Wheels Within Wheels". This, as every schoolchild knows, is the mantra of Wodehouse's scheming and witless, but also unsinkable Monty Bodkin, borrowed from verses in Ezekiel that describe an extraterrestrial visit (or not).

Lest we forget, Bodkin is ultimately fired from the Mammoth Publishing Company following his decision to incorporate the following material in the Uncle Woggly column of Tiny Tots magazine:

Well now, let's get down to it. This week, my dear little souls, Uncle Woggly is going to put you on to a good thing. We all want to make a spot of easy money these hard times, don't we? Well, here's the lowdown, straight from the horse's mouth. All you have to do is get hold of some mug and lure him into betting that a quart whisky bottle holds a quart of whisky.

Sounds rummy, what? I mean, that's what you would naturally think that it would hold. So does the mug. But it isn't. It's really more, and I'll tell you why.

First you fill the bottle. This gives you your quart. Then you shove the cork in. And then—follow me closely here—you turn the bottle upside down and you'll find there's a sort of bulging-ion part at the bottom. Well, slosh some whisky into that, and there you are. Because the bot. is now holding more than a quart and you scoop the stakes.

I'm ok with this

2012-01-28T09:54:00.000-08:00

We're going to push hard to make sure someone making over a million dollars a year aren't getting tax breaks and tax subsidies they don't need, not out of envy, but out of a sense of fairness and a sense of mutual responsibility and a sense of commitment for the country's future, and that's what we're fighting for. The American people understand that.
(link)

This is not just a liber... excuse me, progressive, thing. It is an American thing. Bush Jr. worked hard to make the U.S. as much like Edwardian England or Argentina as possible. Krueger has shown how incredibly successful this project was.

It may be too late to take it back. But the American Dream is a legitimate concept, worth fighting to reclaim. I've recommended this book before, but I'd like to see it taught in high schools, and given to everyone who becomes a naturalized citizen.

Put me down for an America that's a nation - not a plantation.

Monsieur T

2012-01-24T06:17:00.000-08:00

Looked everywhere in Paris for a picture or statue of him. Finally found one in the Musée Carnavalet.

This makes me so happy

2012-01-23T22:25:00.000-08:00

The views and opinions expressed by GWAR do not reflect those of the Pentagon Channel or the Department of Defense. (link)

Never forget:

Serio-Comedy: What to Say to A French Hotel Clerk About American Guns.

2012-01-23T12:04:00.000-08:00

I told the hotel clerk foie gras was being outlawed in California. He said, "That country's crazy! You can own a gun, but foie gras is illegal?" - M. Marsch, en Paris.

Simply explain to such a witty hotel clerk that in the United States, the almost total commodification of labor and identity, and the internal moral space hollowed out by the market-driven objectification of both the human individual and traditional social structures, which increasingly displaces both ancient socially evolved forms of identity, and self-created, liberated forms of meaning, all of which conditions are the inevitable products of hegemonic late-stage capitalism, means that we occasionally need to shoot our way out.

The gun itself is a vestigial symbol of self-determination; in the very fineness of its machining, and the pleasing completeness of its design are densely layered symbols of power: weight, ease of manipulation, the parts fitting and working simply and almost musically; it is an empowering opportunity for skill building in the willful manipulation of lethal force- and even its colors and aesthetic designs, black, camouflage, create the illusion of personal power, and potential aggression. This creates in others, perhaps in the sense, The Other, the fear or contempt that is easily mistaken for respect, especially by the emotionally inexperienced.

American culture has conflated the gun and individual liberty, originating in frontier and political/ historical conditions that no longer apply. This symbology is reinforced in an amazing flood of truly ubiquitous imagery- after the car, it is presented in American culture as among the most meaningful of objects (perhaps being displaced now by small, stylish computers.) Yet the more irrelevant the gun is as an actual tool of protection and food- in modern urban life, nearly total - the more fierce the attachment to its value as symbolic display. As it becomes more useless, it becomes more fetishised.

The popularity of guns seems highest among the most impoverished and powerless- or, alternately, like Dick Cheney on a sitting duck hunting range, an expression of the pleasure of lethal power- and with complete disinterest in the very ancient and challenging art of tracking hunting, except perhaps as masculine symbolism. Resting on obvious social display in the pickup rack, an AR-15 rifle, for example, while not really appropriate for actually hunting, creates the illusion of negating the inevitable economic emasculation by our economic system- where critiquing the obvious source of which, Capitalism, is unspoken as heresy; and the soul-gnawing fear of being gobbled up inside and out by the bottom line, by impotence, by irrelevance, by isolation is consoled by the fantasy embodied in the power-granting object, the short-cut to respect, of the weapon.

It is of course a fantasy never to be realized, as the lethal resources of any modern government, or indeed, any organization of power, exceed by many orders of magnitude anything an individual or small group of individuals could employ (and this is quite M. Marsch's point): the expression of the weapon then, with the extremely rare exception of actual subsistence or personal safety, is almost wholly symbolic, usually used in knocking small holes in paper in an action more cheaply and safely accomplished by a properly-shapened pencil, or more often, as actually shooting is quite expensive, either in digital simulations, or within the emotionally heated argumentative defense of gun ownership itself- and this employs a predictable displacement of "enemy" from real economic oppressors to those who would take away the tool-symbol-object-weapon, who are often and not co-coincidentally female.

When it comes down to its actual discharge in emergency, the result consumes some 11,000 American lives every year. In these circumstances, the gun is grabbed almost always in catastrophic error, drunken rage, economic desperation, irrational fear, or in psychotic or sadistic exertion of personal power- and in a nod to gun owners, in Canada, with comparable levels of gun ownership, this extreme deadliness is vastly reduced. The difference seems to be within culture, and in a more socialistic economic organization, one which does not prey so heavily on the core of identity.

Nothing can anger this culturally-conditioned type of an American gun owner, as opposed to a genuine farmer, cowboy, policeman, soldier, or subsistence hunter, more perfectly than pointing out the truth of the political impotence of owning an actual gun. Which it is, of course; the fact of the gun has no effect on one's economic conditions, except negatively in its cost, and the mostly likely result is to have the effect of scaring, or when lucky intriguing a potential mate, in the latter case one who is equally a victim of loss of identity and seeks the comfort of power by proxy, for a caricature of the same reason serial killers get marriage proposals. By contrast, gun ideology- built in such a complex, layered way on a foundation of potency symbols, fears, and physical pleasures (the "powbangzoom" of it, to coin a word, ) is an extremely effective political force; coded, most tragically, to advance precisely the capitalist economic and social conditions which concentrate power ever more completely in fewer, hyper-privileged hands, and which are the exact source of the loss of self-efficacy, especially masculine self-efficacy, for which the gun is obtained to replace.

Mais, en francais, s'il vous plait.

Then a child spoke...

2012-01-22T10:33:00.001-08:00

An academically struggling South Texas school district has decided to cancel student sports and use the money for improving education.

(link)

2012-01-22T10:10:00.000-08:00

Between Romney's corporatism and minority religion, and Newt's basic Newtery, Tea Party and evangelical enthusiasm is drying up fast. Its already reflected in consistently low turnout. If that happens, the GOP's goose is cooked.

And to throw a candy cane in there, the only honorable Christian in the race is going to be Barack Obama. Why would Newt stay in? He must know he's an amazingly weak candidate against any sitting president -and although just running while the other person has a chance of tripping is a factor- two things explain his vicious campaign behavior. 1 is obvious- his narcissistic personality disorder, which makes Palin look like "trying to think of a stereo-typically humble American and failing."

2) is more interesting and subtle: I'm calling it an attempt by a strong Christianist base - as Sullivan calls it - to save the Republican Party from Mormon domination. I strongly suspect that a lot of people in the GOP leadership would rather preserve Christian religious domination that mount an effective candidate against Obama. Why? Long term - Mormonism is a tiny and permanently insular religious minority. This isn't Catholicism - we're talking small single digit minority. If Romney fails against the President, but succeeds at leading the party, staffing it, and organizing it, I would suspect that the calculation is that the Republican movement would start losing its ability to motivate christian traditionalists of all stripes, and thereby, start moving into permanent minority mode. The

Romney's motivation, on the other hand, is in many ways missionary. Recall his deeply asinine speech on religion in politics from the last campaign, which, instead of calling for tolerance, called basically to unite around the common enemy of non-believers. What does he want? Power. Why does he want it? Core religious identity - and not exactly selfish.

The casserole in the oven is: if he takes the GOP nomination, he has permanently legitimized Mormonism.

Expect at the minimum a threat for a third party run from Paul- which would, if he sticks with it, would -guessing- take about 4% from the right and 2% from the left. For the same reason, not to win, but to preserve that social darwinist/Libertarian influence - he will be negotiating for platform points, and would be quite happy to drop the bomb on the GOP if he's shut out. And Romney is likely to shut him out.

Michel Ney FTW

2012-01-22T08:17:00.000-08:00

"Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart. Wait for the order. It will be my last to you. I protest against my condemnation. I have fought a hundred battles for France, and not one against her ... Soldiers, Fire!"

25 Newt Gingrich Jokes

2012-01-21T12:32:00.000-08:00

Newt can make America what it once was: lorded over by carnivorous lizards.

Newt Gingrich's body also once crashed into an Italian reef, rolled over and sank, killing 25 passengers.

Newt's head was once shot down by a Russian anti-satellite missile. To be fair they were just defending Vladivostok.

Doesn't Newt Gingrich make you feel like he's always blocking America's sun?

Newt Gingrich recently became a Catholic, which is why he thinks nuns should put out.

Newt Gingrich has done more to advance the cause of peace than the Luftwaffe.

Newt has a new ice tea out. It's called "Fuck U Tea."

Newt's like the kid who pushes girls into puddles when no one is looking.

Newt's like the high school bully who the other bullies push around.

Newt's like the mechanic who calls you an idiot for not replacing your transmission every six months.

Newt knows Jesus was a pussy, he's just too brilliant to say it right now.

Nothing cheers up Newt Gingrich like a sunny day with more starvation in Africa.

Newt Gingrich said that he cheated on his wife because he was working too hard with patriotic zeal for America. Oh, wait, that's real?

When they're playing good cop/bad cop, Newt's is the guy who barges in the room and takes everyone's donuts and yells at them for eating donuts.

You might think that he's just a money-grubbing tool, but Newt volunteers a lot at the hospital, calling people up and telling them they have bladder cancer. Especially when they don't.

Newt Gingrich loves America. Except for the idiots who live there.

Of course Newt opposes slavery. It's uncompensated mandatory human labor he thinks it's stupid to oppose.

Newt can always quit politics and play the sexually harassing boss in employee training videos.

Newt never met a man he liked. Or a woman. But he never met a bulging envelope he could say no to.

On his days off, Newt Gingrich likes to drive around New York, shooting homeless people with a bb gun.

Newt's anti-vice campaign consists of large posters of his own head with the word "Sex" written in letters underneath.

Newt is a faithful Christian, except for those ethical principles they keep going on and on and on about. Am I right, people?

Newt Gingrich is like the world's most evil Cheesecake Factory manager.

Do you get the feeling that the next revelation is that Newt Gingrich owns a mercury mine in Paraguay worked by orphans between 6 and 13, who are all behind on their cot rent?

Newt Gingrich likes poor people. He thinks they are fucking hilarious, all broke and crying and shit.

"I can only look at so much art, okay?"

2012-01-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

I found a really nice room in the Louvre, today. It had a bench, and no art in it whatsoever.

My eyes are full.

While I feel very privileged to be able to spend the day there (and another planned for Monday to go to the Dutch/Flemish/German wing), I can't help but feel that this museum is a victim of its own success. Put everything in the world in one gigantic facility, and you have a place overrun by packs of tour groups taking photos of everything and looking at nothing. Also, they don't have enough guards to actually enforce the rules. If nearly yelled "Ne pas toucher!" at a woman posing for a photo with her hand on an ancient Greek sculpture. Flash photography is forbidden, but flashes are going off constantly.

I leave you with the only photo of a painting I took: Hubert Robert's imagining of the Louvre in ruins (and I just found the same painting at the top of Robert's wikipedia page, so why did I bother?)

Dark Days at Goldman

2012-01-20T11:28:00.000-08:00

"I'm personally down 20% which was exactly the right level to piss me off but not enough to make me dive across the desk and beat my boss to death."

(link)

Enough

2012-01-19T20:39:00.000-08:00

Newt's angry again. Angry that people say he appeals to racists. Angry that some irresponsible person would claim he wanted an open marriage.

I'm angry too, that this malevolent dickhead - utterly unqualified for high office - is one of the top ten people America thinks could be its leader.

And I must admit, at some level I'm frightened that one of these horror shows actually will get elected, and be given the power to invoke martial law, launch nuclear weapons, etc. I really hope that doesn't happen (again).

Rowan

2012-01-19T19:57:00.000-08:00

Watching this clip of Groucho on the Cavett show, Groucho stops the proceedings to tell Dan Rowan he is one of the greatest straight men who ever lived. "I watch you and I marvel at the equanimity and style and class."

Wait, what? Really?

Well...yeah, maybe. I guess this is the sort of thing Groucho was talking about. Martin gets all the laughs, but the bit is all Rowan.

My favorite Rowan and Martin moment was when they roasted Rickles with his own material, simultaneously celebrating his genius and exposing him as a fraud. Rowan got the biggest laugh, when he couldn't find the punchline.

Kids' Books Worth Reading

2012-01-15T18:55:00.000-08:00

I've had the pleasure of reading two superb books to the kids over the past few months.

Mistress Masham's Repose by T.H. White. This is the same T.H. White who wrote The Once and Future King. The New York Review of Books has reissued the book in a beautiful new edition. I don't have much to say about it - there is treasure on every page. Kids like it, but it's not a children's book.
The House of Arden by the wonderful, mostly-forgotten, Edith Nesbit. Available both in a gorgeous NYRB edition, or for free in various places (e.g., here).

Nesbit's book was published in 1908, before the conflagration, White's came out in 1946, just after it had burned itself out (in Europe, at least).

The books are remarkably similar in subject matter. Both describe the search by high-born children, orphaned and living under harsh conditions, for the family fortune that is their birthright, with the aid of fantastic/magical creatures. In another Nesbit work (The Story of the Treasure Seekers - link), one of the children says: "I'll tell you what, we must go and seek for treasure; it is always what you do to restore the fallen fortunes of your house."

Both books smuggle in lots of humanism and good, clean progressive values (Nesbit co-founded the Fabian Society). White's is particularly diabolical in making the main villains a churchman and a tutor, inadvertently aided by incompetent bureaucrats and police. The only good adult is, as so often happens, a doddering old professor.

Gore Vidal explains Nesbit (in 1964!) here.

30 Mitt Romney Jokes

2012-01-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

Mitt Romney knows the real worth of hard work and sacrifice. It bumps shareholder value after you're fired.

Mitt Romney is very concerned with women's issues: those excessive laws and regulations allowing them to do things.

Mitt Romney believes in democracy, if by democracy, you mean, Mittmocracy. In a Mittmocracy, your opinion counts, at least when he gets around to having it.

Q. Is Mitt Romney a Control Freak?

     a. This way, everyone gets plenty of toothpaste.

     b. Certainly not. His sons were off-leash by 16.

     c. He numbers each Cherrio.

     d. I can't say- permission to speak freely denied.
     e. His nostril hairs have performance reviews.

    f. No- he once let a gardener use the kitchen. But never again.
     g. There's a perfectly easy-to-use spreadsheet in each restroom. Is that so much to ask?

People say Mitt Romney can't begin to understand the challenges of being poor or even middle class, or an ethnic or sexual minority, or sacrificing everything for your country instead of personal profit, or working all the time for your kids but falling farther behind, and despairing of life ever being better for them. But that's only because he's an asshole.

They say Mitt Romney is out of touch. I say, he touches himself, and that should be enough for anyone.

Mitt Romney loves God, because he loves himself.

Mitt Romney can make America great again. If we can't rule the world, we can mess it up so badly no one else wants it.

Do you ever get the feeling that Mitt Romney's sexual fantasies mostly involve his own hair?

Romney loves orphans. He never met a position he didn't adopt.

Mitt Romney's religion is a problem. People might vote for a real Christian candidate, like Barack Obama.

Mitt Romney, a very religious man, offers a deep, selfless love to those everyone else despises. Especially banks.

The Romney campaign denies rumors that Mitt lives on pure diet of green algae and polyethylene glycol smoothies.

Mitt Romney has done more for the advancement of the American Robotics industry than people will ever know.

People are obsessed by the weird underwear that Romney wears, but that Batman outfit has a really nice thread count.

You've always got a friend when Romney's in town. Not Mitt- I meant that guy who'll let you stay on his couch after you get fired.

It's not fair to say Romney's an amazing waffler. He holds heart-felt, core beliefs, like when he threatened, in person, to excommunicate a young woman who needed an abortion to save her life. That means he believes deeply in being a truly spectacular dick.

"Mitt Romney is more of a job cremator." - Debbie Wasserman-Shultz.

Q: Is Mitt Romney white?

     a. Mitt Romney makes Frosty the Snowman look like Flava Flav.
     b. Mitt Romney makes Kim-Jong Un look like Lil' Kim.
     c. Mitt Romney makes John McCain look like Malcom X.
     d. Mitt Romney last had a good bowel movement during the Nixon Administration. With Nixon.

How to Sharpen a Pencil (Correctly)

2012-01-15T11:52:00.000-08:00

Demonstration by Author.

Get a knife, and a pencil worth sharpening.
Jamie adds "featured here is the splendid Blackwing 602- cheap pencils, dull knives and inferior quality wood make for fewer fingers!"

You cut around this bit here.

Cut in firmly...

...and decisively.

Work around the barrel to narrow the tip.
Jamie adds: "The more even your starting cuts, the better. Also, your cut is not flat, but curves away from the central graphite shaft as you dig down."

Keep narrowing down to the lead.

Keep trimming.
Adds Jamie: "You are making an extension of pure graphite. A very sharp knife is essential to this. Caution!"

Wood should taper...

...exposing approx. 87 mm of lead.

Trim up the nib.
Jamie Adds: "You are making a small cone at the tip, like the Apollo capsule, by scraping carefully. You can do the same thing by rolling and shaping the tip on sandpaper. "

...to a sharp but solid, point.

The finished product!
Jamie Adds: "Not only do you have the satisfaction of performing a manly and efficacious task which honors our ancient pencil heritage, but you will find a number of advantages: 1st, for artists, you now have a hyper sharp point, a small edge around the cone for precise shading, and a huge length for rapid shading. 2nd, you don't have to sharpen nearly as often, just trim up the point. And 3rd, you free yourself from the tyranny of the pencil sharpening machine."

Get your Gibbon on

2012-01-15T02:41:00.000-08:00

I'm sure the Laird is well ahead of me here, but if you have a Kindle you can pick up a very serviceable and nice copy of Gibbon's History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire - for $0.95 - here.

Does it have maps and a gazetteer? No, but you can get those here.

Just for the heck of it

2012-01-15T02:08:00.000-08:00

Today's quarterbacks...name / yards / rating / IAYPA / TDs

Brady / 363 / 137.6 / 9.2 / 6
Holy crap. Against a good defense, too. 364 days ago I questioned his playoff credentials and omitted him from the pantheon of the greatest quarterbacks. There can be no more questioning. With this performance, he kicks in the door and takes his rightful place.

Smith / 299 / 103.2 / 7.1 / 3
He's 27...Tebow is 24. From NFL Network: "You can't leave 1:30 on the clock for Alex Smith!" Not anymore.

Brees / 472 / 93.5 / 5.7 / 4
Dark days in New Orleans: First LSU, now this.

Tebow / 136 / 52.7 / 5.2 / 0
Impeccable record of not turning the ball over, but you have to complete some passes. His 15 yards per attempt vs. Pittsburgh were a career high. This game was not a career low, however - he's played worse lots of times. Rick Reilly is right though, there's no shame in admiring him.

[Update: I re-ran the screen from last year (http://pfref.com/tiny/9uW6n). The standings as they now appear:

6 great playoff performances:

Montana

5 ...

Aikman

4 ...

Favre, Warner, P. Manning, Tom Brady (just moved up)

3 ...

Rodgers, Hostetler, Kelly, Theisman, Bradshaw, E. Manning (just moved up) ]

Worricoperdoublis Realities

2012-01-14T11:02:00.000-08:00

So here is your new word: Worricoperdoublis, pronounced Worry-Co-Per-Doobliss.

So often, when arguments and discussions occur about cultural, social and philosophical issues occur, we are in territory in which the subject at hand has not only not been studied scientifically, but a proper concept for such a study has barely been conceived of. The debate over psychoactive medication for depression is an interesting example: the debate about their wisdom and efficacy went for years with the the medical and phramacological industries winning, in a market worth many billions, over psychology, but it was all woricoperedoublis, *WithOut R(r)Igorously COntrolled PEer-Rviewed DOUble-BLind Studies -in other words, without very strong scientific evidence. After two decades of both over and probably under-medicating, the other shoe finally dropped, and generously phrased, the huge JAMA study of studies suggests highly uneven evidence of medication's efficacy for treated conditions such as mild or moderate depression- better than placebo, but just barely- and it points to persistent publication bias, which in turn was driven, shockingly, by economic interest. And this is within science.

On the other hand, much if not most of our experience of life, our own personalities, political preferences, likes, loves, social and personal realities, perception of the nature of reality, events, faith or lack thereof, etcetera, exists in the woricoperdoublis space - a statement which in itself is worricoperdoublis. (The r is added as a concession to the few clear spelling rules in english, but a double p is not, since such rules were were generated, natch, worricoperdoublisiously. )

Usually, we need to proceed into this frontier territory-which is almost by definition the most interesting territory (god, free will, national culture, aesthetics, morality, the nature or mere existence of the human soul, etc, etc, etc) - worricoperdoublis.

And even more commonly, the period in which we must take action is far short of the time necessary to make good double blind studies, or even find them, even eyes glued firmly to the Google. We lead our lives largely facing worricoperdoublis situations and making worricoperdoublis decisions.

As it happens, I am quite tired of typing out, letting alone speaking, this tedious concession when discussing cultural issues which are clearly worricoperdoublis, and in turn I am especially irritated when knaves make worricoperdoublis claims, like some Exxon-funded study of global warming uncertainty, or worse, a Creationist museum, when the reality is not worricoperdoublis, and any smart-phone shaking fool can look it up.

The hope is that this word can lead to clarity in determining when an issue is worricoperdoublis a well-established, if incompletely described scientific fact. Evolution is, for example, not even kind of worricoperdoublis- and I resolve to waste no more time arguing about its truth, although we can have jolly good fun discussing the worricoperdoublis nature of rise of the human soul.

Oh, the humanity

2012-01-12T18:20:00.000-08:00

Wow, that new overtime rule is getting people worked up. Here's Easterbrook:

Pittsburgh at Denver was the first game played under the new overtime rules intended to ensure each team at least one possession, and needless to say, the Steelers never touched the ball. For the second time in three seasons, a 12-4 visiting team lost to an 8-8 home team in the playoffs when the game went to overtime and the 12-4 visitor never got a chance at the ball. (San Diego 23, Indianapolis 17 in overtime in 2009 was the other case.)

A year ago, TMQ warned , "The new format does not guarantee each team a chance at the ball. If Team A receives the opening kickoff and scores a touchdown, the game simply ends." Back to the drawing board for overtime formats, please. How about alternating possessions beginning at the 50, and no kicking plays allowed?

Or...how about shutting the fuck up?

If Team B went 12-4 in the regular season, and still, after four full quarters of regulation professional foot-ball, finds itself tied with an 8-8 team led by love child of Pat Robertson and Andre the Giant, they have, by that time, forfeited all right to the respect of decent men and women. A coin flip is too good for them.

Football had the sudden death rule for almost 70 years (originally just for playoff games), and it was perfect. It heightened the importance of every play. It put pressure on both teams (if you don't move it down the field and kick the winning field goal, you're screwed). It was randomly arbitrary, as is life. It was as great an incentive as you could have for the better team to try and win in regulation. Stop the madness. Return to the sound and time-tested policies of the past.

And Team B, next time remember it is possible to underestimate the God-fearing Ape-Man. Even he can read Cover Zero.

Hero

2012-01-11T13:11:00.001-08:00

[He] raises his arms, Moses-like, to the glorious friezes that surround the interior of the ceremonial courtroom. And then Waxman points to one sculpted classical stone lawgiver after another as he guides the justices through the fleeting bottoms that pervade their lofty spaces: “There's a bare buttock there, and there's a bare buttock here,” he marvels. “And there may be more that I hadn't seen. But frankly, I had never focused on it before.” To which Justice Antonin Scalia grits out, “Me neither,” while all of the justices gape up at the walls above them, like bemused Muppets on Veterinarian Hospital.

(link)

Sound as a Euro!

2012-01-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

Airbus: Those are cracks in the wings are "non-critical".

Thanks for clearing that up.

Tebow 316

2012-01-08T18:39:00.000-08:00

I have not enjoyed a football highlight show clip as much as this since the NFL Primetime days.

Yes, he threw for 316 yards. Big assist to Demaryius Thomas on the last 80, with a Marshawn Lynch-like stiff-arm going down the field.

How to be old

2012-01-07T16:48:00.000-08:00

Victor Hugo said "forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age." I mentally passed the latter milestone last year (link), and did so under the western system this week.

And the world yawned. I was not unique in this, in fact, I am not even old under modern rules. As usual, the baby boomers are spoiling everything, and in the January I chose to turn 50, the first of them are turning 65. That is the new threshold - and even they are "young old" (see The Elderly Sub-Populations here). You're not just plain old anymore, unless you make it to 74. Which is a little weird: since male life expectancy in the U.S. is 76, it looks we only get, on average, a scant two years to dodder and wear onions on our belts. Doesn't seem fair.

But the life expectancy numbers are little deceptive. Life expectancy is rising, and expected to continue to rise. And, overall life expectancy is modified by accident rates etc. during our misguided youth. According to the government's mortality tables, if a man has made it 50, he has a fine chance of ticking along for another 30 years (ax murders and aggressive tumors notwithstanding). This stretches out the period of cane-waving, worry-free dementia from two to six years.

And those who get to experience that blessed interval will have a lot of company. It is a myth that there are more people alive today than there are dead ones. But I recently saw an article that said there are more living old people than dead ones, or will be shortly (sorry no link, my Google-fu is weak). For most of human history, life expectancy rarely approached 65 anywhere. But the (temporary?) triumph over infectious disease, coupled with better outcomes in heart disease and cancer, suggests that there will be billions.

As I am among the first in our little group to reach the entryway to this exciting new chapter in human evolution, I thought I'd offer a few tips on how to get old.

Avoid yoga, you'll just hurt yourself. Choose Tai Chi instead. It's cheap, can be done at home, requires no special equipment. You can learn it, with minimal effort and inconvenience, from this DVD. The benefits are well-documented, although the mechanisms are still poorly understood. The more naturally skeptical among you will wonder if there is really one all-powerful life-force controlling everything. Possibly not. But Tai Chi addresses three very real health needs for older people:

Get a colonoscopy soon (how about now? is now good for you?). Colon cancer is asymptomatic and deadly, but can be detected early or prevented (by removing precancerous polyps), if you get screened. The incidence in people under 50 is rising.
Laugh your ass off at every opportunity.

The best kind of bipartisanship

2012-01-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

"I am confident with the leadership and backing of the American people, President Obama will turn this country around" - John McCain

(link)

Thomas Huxley calls his shot

2012-01-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

From the very fine Apes Angels And Victorians (link, other link), picked up for a buck at a church book sale:

[W]hile his wife lay in the next room waiting for her first child to be born, [Huxley] planned his future in a spirit of solemn dedication:

1856-7-8 must still be "Lehrjahre" to complete training in principles of Histology, Morphology, Physiology, Zoology and Geology by Monographic Work in each Department. 1860 will then see me well grounded and ready for any pursuits in either of these branches.

It is impossible to map out beforehand how this must be done. I must seize opportunities as they come, at the risk of the reputation for desultoriness.

In 1860 I may fairly look forward to fifteen or twenty "Meisterjahre," and with the comprehensive views my training will have given me, I think it will be possible in that time to give a new and healthier direction to all Biological Science.

To smite all humbugs, however big; to give a nobler tone to science; to set an example of abstinence from petty personal controversies, and of toleration for everything but lying; to be indifferent as to whether the work is recognized as mine or not, so long as it is done—are these aims? 1860 will show.

Can you prove it DIDN'T happen?

2012-01-03T16:32:00.000-08:00

White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars

(link)

Greatest RPG I've Never Played

2012-01-02T20:21:00.000-08:00

The trailer for Tucker and Dale vs. Evil reminded me that there is an RPG I have been wanting to try try next time we have a group together. First seen in Dragon back in '02 - it's a one-shot called Six Teenagers Go Camping. I could elaborate, but is that really necessary?

Added to "to-do" list...

Well snarked

2012-01-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

Ive received a KBE, (Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire) and will be able to be called "sir". While most KBE's earn the title by bringing huge amounts of cash to Britain, Sir Ive got it for services to design and enterprise. It must be the first time that anyone has been knighted for making an American look good and making him bundles of cash.

The UK has given Bill Gates an honorary knighthood, but since his country was involved in a French backed terrorist campaign against the Queen's ancestors he can't call himself Sir.

Impressive San Francisco Emergency Sevices

2012-01-02T00:30:00.000-08:00

View outside the Eisengeiste San Francisco City Offices, 50 feet away, Jan. 1, 8:11 PM, before 20-some emergency vehicles arrived and completely surrounded the block, putting out a major and intense house fire after about half an hour; the Other Front had left an important conference here just over an hour previous. Had the wind been different, so might the outcome.

Thankfully, our lives were not dependent on a free market solution; the City's emergency services were swift, efficient, organized and in force.

Another day on the PCH

2011-12-31T20:09:00.000-08:00

Same old same old, south of Carmel. Gets tedious after a while. More of the same further down the road.

Guess the country

2011-12-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

The Party will require voters to sign a loyalty oath in order to participate in the election.

The Depths of Infamy

2011-12-28T18:22:00.000-08:00

Now the harsh, cold truth emerges about North Korea's late, unlamented Kim Jong-Il. It turns out that he not only allowed golf, the revisionist bastard (Mao banned it), but then lied about his score. So, not just a monstrous tyrant, but also a cad. Good riddance.

Some handle the Hollywood lifestyle better than others

2011-12-28T08:52:00.001-08:00

Farewell, Cheetah.

The Trail of Tears

2011-12-27T20:33:00.000-08:00

I must say, that was a brilliant fantasy season. Also, for me, educational.

Drafting Peyton Manning seemed like a good idea at the time. But it condemned me to a season of searching the waiver wire for a competent quarterback - and, inadvertently, gave me a better understanding of the realities of professional football. Here is a résumé of Aggressionator quarterbacking this season:

The Doomed

One thing I learned this year is that a key competency of quarterbacks is staying out of the hospital. Kolb and Schaub are probably the best quarterbacks I played this year, but both got knocked out - Schaub should be back next year following surgery, but Kolb's injuries look more ominous.

Kevin Kolb (4 games) - Knocked out in week 8
Matt Schaub (2 games) - Knocked out in week 12
Jason Campbell (1 game) - Knocked out in week 6

The One Hit Wonders

My astute search for key matchups I could exploit was an utter failure. A good quarterback against the Raven's defense is a better bet than a bad quarterback against Cleveland.

Matt Moore (1 game) - Tantalizing as he helmed the Dolphins in their undead resurgence, but Miami's probably going to move on.
Vince Young (1 game) - That one game, week 13, was the only one in which he scored meaningful points all season. Some day the glory days will return.
Andy Dalton (1 game) - People act as if he's good or something. He got me 13.02 fantasy points before going back to the waiver wire.
Rex Grossman (1 game) - Was it really so crazy? After all, Kyle Orton matured into a capable NFL quarterback (at least temporarily) and Mike Shanahan mentored Elway...call me crazy, but I think I see a little Elway in Rex Grossman... And he delivered: 7.92 fantasy points. From my diary: "Week 5 - I have hit rock bottom."

The Adequate

In the NFL there aren't enough good quarterbacks to go around, so guys who can stay healthy and not utterly embarrass themselves are actually valuable.

Josh Freeman (3 games) - He stayed upright and on the field, held his starting job, and gave me about 15.0 points a game. He's in the Alex Smith zone - everyone's disappointed, but no one's good enough to take his job.

The WTF!?

Come seven, come eleven, I need a big game. Who's this guy, he had big week last week...?

Joe Webb (2 games). Webb scored zero points in the first game I started him, because his coach inconveniently chose not to put him on the field. He didn't start the second game either, but when Ponder (and Peterson) went down he delivered the best quarterback performance of the Aggressionators' season (20.8 points)...in one half.

The whole experience taught me that the career of assured excellence is an illusion, that all lives are ruled by contingency, and that the true warrior must strive at highest level with no reasonable hope of sustained success, health, or adoration. Coaches, fans, and the media are fickle, and these superb athletes who risk all are inevitably treated as interchangeable parts in a heartless corporate enterprise.

Which is what they deserve, since they didn't perform very well for my fantasy team.

Wishes of the Season

2011-12-25T12:09:00.001-08:00

The Rainbow Orchid, vols. 1-2

2011-12-24T09:34:00.000-08:00

9 year-old guest blogger reports:

Filled with action, suspense, and humor, The Rainbow Orchid books (link) are a magnificent piece of art.

Illustrated by Garen Ewing, they take us from England to France, and from France to India, all in search the mythical Rainbow Orchid. Drawn almost exactly like Herge's Tintin albums, the characters leap off every page as they search.

I recommend it to all who fancy 1930-style comics.

Our 2011 Garland

2011-12-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

"Shakespeare and Christmas", by Fr*nk N*rris, in Max Beerbohm's wondrous A Christmas Garland (link) -

That Shakespeare hated Christmas—hated it with a venom utterly alien to the gentle heart in him—I take to be a proposition that establishes itself automatically. If there is one thing lucid-obvious in the Plays and Sonnets, it is Shakespeare's unconquerable loathing of Christmas. The Professors deny it, however, or deny that it is proven. With these gentlemen I will deal faithfully. I will meet them on their own parched ground, making them fertilise it by shedding there the last drop of the water that flows through their veins.

If you find, in the works of a poet whose instinct is to write about everything under the sun, one obvious theme untouched, or touched hardly at all, then it is at least presumable that there was some good reason for that abstinence. Such a poet was Shakespeare. It was one of the divine frailties of his genius that he must be ever flying off at a tangent from his main theme to unpack his heart in words about some frivolous-small irrelevance that had come into his head. If it could be shown that he never mentioned Christmas, we should have proof presumptive that he consciously avoided doing so. But if the fact is that he did mention it now and again, but in grudging fashion, without one spark of illumination—he, the arch-illuminator of all things—then we have proof positive that he detested it.

I see Dryasdust thumbing his Concordance. Let my memory save him the trouble. I will reel him off the one passage in which Shakespeare spoke of Christmas in words that rise to the level of mediocrity.

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long:
And then, they say, no spirit dare stir abroad;
The nights are wholesome; then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallowed and so gracious is the time.

So says Marcellus at Elsinore. This is the best our Shakespeare can vamp up for the birthday of the Man with whom he of all men had the most in common. And Dryasdust, eternally unable to distinguish chalk from cheese, throws up his hands in admiration of the marvellous poetry. If Dryasdust had written it, it would more than pass muster. But as coming from Shakespeare, how feeble-cold—aye, and sulky-sinister! The greatest praiser the world will ever know!—and all he can find in his heart to sing of Christmas is a stringing-together of old women's superstitions! Again and again he has painted Winter for us as it never has been painted since—never by Goethe even, though Goethe in more than one of the Winter-Lieder touched the hem of his garment. There was every external reason why he should sing, as only he could have sung, of Christmas. The Queen set great store by it. She and her courtiers celebrated it year by year with lusty-pious unction. And thus the ineradicable snob in Shakespeare had the most potent of all inducements to honour the feast with the full power that was in him. But he did not, because he would not.

For many years I hunted it vainly. The second time that I met Carlyle I tried to enlist his sympathy and aid. He sat pensive for a while and then said that it seemed to him "a goose-quest." I replied, "You have always a phrase for everything, Tom, but always the wrong one." He covered his face, and presently, peering at me through his gnarled fingers, said "Mon, ye're recht." I discussed the problem with Renan, with Emerson, with Disraeli, also with Cetewayo—poor Cetewayo, best and bravest of men, but intellectually a Professor, like the rest of them. It was borne in on me that if I were to win to the heart of the mystery I must win alone.

The solution, when suddenly it dawned on me, was so simple-stark that I was ashamed of the ingenious-clever ways I had been following. (I learned then—and perhaps it is the one lesson worth the learning of any man—that truth may be approached only through the logic of the heart. For the heart is eye and ear, and all excellent understanding abides there.) On Christmas Day, assuredly, Anne Hathaway was born.

If there be any doubting Thomas among my readers, let him not be afraid to utter himself. I am (with the possible exception of Shakespeare) the gentlest man that ever breathed, and I do but bid him study the Plays in the light I have given him. The first thing that will strike him is that Shakespeare's thoughts turned constantly to the birthdays of all his Fitton-heroines, as a lover's thoughts always do turn to the moment at which the loved one first saw the light. "There was a star danced, and under that" was born Beatrice. Juliet was born "on Lammas Eve." Marina tells us she derived her name from the chance of her having been "born at sea." And so on, throughout the whole gamut of women in whom Mary Fitton was bodied forth to us. But mark how carefully Shakespeare says never a word about the birthdays of the various shrews and sluts in whom, again and again, he gave us his wife. When and were was born Queen Constance, the scold? And Bianca? And Doll Tearsheet, and "Greasy Jane" in the song, and all the rest of them? It is of the last importance that we should know. Yet never a hint is vouchsafed us in the text. It is clear that Shakespeare cannot bring himself to write about Anne Hathaway's birthday—will not stain his imagination by thinking of it. That is entirely human-natural. But why should he loathe Christmas Day itself with precisely the same loathing? There is but one answer—and that inevitable-final. The two days were one.

Some soul-secrets are so terrible that the most hardened realist of us may well shrink from laying them bare. Such a soul-secret was this of Shakespeare's. Think of it! The gentlest spirit that ever breathed, raging and fuming endlessly in impotent-bitter spleen against the prettiest of festivals! Here is a spectacle so tragic-piteous that, try as we will, we shall not put it from us. And it is well that we should not, for in our plenary compassion we shall but learn to love the man the more.

[Mr. Fr*nk H*rr*s is very much a man of genius, and I should be sorry if this adumbration of his manner made any one suppose that I do not rate his writings about Shakespeare higher than those of all "the Professors" together.—M.B.]

Special Eisengeiste dedication to Hitchens.

That odd feeling again

2011-12-22T19:14:00.001-08:00

Pride.

Hard-Core Art Facts. From the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

2011-12-22T14:17:00.000-08:00

Fascinating and sobering, from Bureau of Labor Statistics on the Profession of Art. I especially love the definitions.

"Artists held about 221,900 jobs in 2008. About 60 percent were self-employed. Employment was distributed as follows:

Art directors 84,200
Multimedia artists and animators 79,000
Fine artists, including painters, sculptors and illustrators 23,600
Craft artists 13,600
Artists and related workers, all other 21,500

For better or worse, artists are key culture producers. Noted: Lawyers held about 759,200 jobs in 2008. In other words, there are 33 attorneys for every fine artist.

Artists create art to communicate ideas, thoughts, or feelings. They use a variety of methods—painting, sculpting, or illustration—and an assortment of materials, including oils, watercolors, acrylics, pastels, pencils, pen and ink, plaster, clay, and computers. Artists' works may be realistic, stylized, or abstract and may depict objects, people, nature, or events.

Fine artists typically display their work in museums, commercial art galleries, corporate collections, and private homes. Some of their artwork may be commissioned (done on request from clients), but most is sold by the artist or through private art galleries or dealers. The gallery and the artist predetermine how much each will earn from the sale. Only the most successful fine artists are able to support themselves solely through the sale of their works. Most fine artists have at least one other job to support their art careers. Some work in museums or art galleries as fine-arts directors or as curators, planning and setting up art exhibits. A few artists work as art critics for newspapers or magazines or as consultants to foundations or institutional collectors. Other artists teach art classes or conduct workshops in schools or in their own studios. Some artists also hold full-time or part-time jobs unrelated to art and pursue fine art as a hobby or second career.

Usually, fine artists specialize in one or two art forms, such as painting, illustrating, sketching, sculpting, printmaking, and restoring. Painters, illustrators, cartoonists, and sketch artists work with two-dimensional art forms, using shading, perspective, and color to produce realistic scenes or abstractions.

Never forget

2011-12-21T17:30:00.001-08:00

The Siege of Bastogne was a famous battle in World War II that took place in and around the Belgian town of Bastogne over Xmas 1944. Outnumbered, surrounded, and in desperate need of supplies, American forces (represented by these bunnies) managed to hold off the Germans until relieved by elements of General Patton's Third Army. Considered as one of the key engagements of the larger "Battle Of The Bulge", The Siege Of Bastogne has been portrayed many times in the movies and on television, and is one of the most famous battles in WWII history.

Watch live streaming video from teamcoco at livestream.com

Spotted: a human

2011-12-21T13:29:00.001-08:00

Wish there were more like him.

Who are these people?

2011-12-21T13:24:00.000-08:00

You got yours, just walk away.

The Republican Party: the party of just walking away.

Some things never change

2011-12-21T07:36:00.000-08:00

The story he spun to the Nazis, in a series of letters and reports, was that the Persian Emperor Cyrus had freed Jewish exiles in Babylon in 538 BC and they had returned to their homes.

However, he told the Nazis, at some later point a small number of Iranians began to find the teachings of the Prophet Moses attractive - and these Mousaique, or Iranian Followers of Moses, which he dubbed "Djuguten," were not part of the Jewish race.

Using all of his lawyer's skill, he exploited the internal contradictions and idiocies of the Nazis' ideology to gain special treatment for the "Djuguten", as the archive material published in Mr Mokhtari's new book shows.

High-level investigations were launched in Berlin, with "experts" on racial purity drafted in to give an opinion on whether this Iranian sect - which the book suggests may well have been Sardari's own invention - were Jewish or not.

The experts were non-committal and suggested that more funding was needed for research.

(link)

To be an American...

2011-12-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

...just write a check.

Meanwhile...

Cultural imperialism

2011-12-16T16:41:00.001-08:00

High praise

2011-12-16T03:51:00.000-08:00

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, who once worked as an intern for Hitchens, said: "Christopher Hitchens was everything a great essayist should be: infuriating, brilliant, highly provocative and yet intensely serious.

"My job was to fact check his articles. Since he had a photographic memory and an encyclopaedic mind it was the easiest job I've ever done."
(link)

His last editor confirms here.

Wife wanted me to play something relaxing

2011-12-15T19:39:00.001-08:00

In your brown shorts, Moseley

2011-12-13T19:00:00.000-08:00

What has been Googled cannot be un-Googled.

Moreover, that's the sort of thing people tend to just remember without the aid of electronic devices.

I can't think of a good headline for this

2011-12-13T01:08:00.001-08:00

(link)

"Tax Them Until They Beg for Death"

2011-12-11T16:31:00.001-08:00

Corporations struggle to decide where to put all that corporate cash.

I'll just leave this right here

2011-12-11T08:43:00.001-08:00

Feynman in full voice

2011-12-10T16:43:00.001-08:00

I was out of the loop - I hadn't heard about this until now, and bang went two hours. It's awesome so far.

Derpback Mountain

2011-12-10T10:10:00.001-08:00

Even when your Derp is strong, it can turn on you, and force you to face what you most fear. (link)

But the weather's not bad

2011-12-10T04:02:00.001-08:00

Brussels isn't too cheerful - I can count the smiling faces I saw yesterday on one hand. Our group was one building away from a major summit-related event, but there was no indication of how things were going. And none after: no major news last night, no headlines today.

Felix Salmon (via Krugman) blurts out the obvious -

Remember how Wolfgang Münchau said that the Euro zone had to get it right at this summit or it would collapse? Well, the Euro zone has most emphatically not got it right. Take any of the list of prescriptions of the minimum necessary right now — from Münchau, from Larry Summers [link], from Mohamed El-Erian — and the one thing that jumps out at you, especially in light of the most recent news, is that if you look at anybody’s list, there’s an enormous number of items which has zero chance of actually happening.

I now realize I'm attending the funeral of the dream of a single European currency. As, one-by-one, nations have been peeled away, the political "center" of Europe has become smaller and smaller. At the start of this year one might have spoken of a "core" of five or so countries, last week this core was down to just Germany and France.

With this final marginalization, it should now be fully apparent that the Euro is the Deutschmark, and will be for as long as the Germans insist on both trade surpluses for themselves and fiscal austerity from their trade partners. Other members of the Eurozone are just hitching a ride, the way Argentina did with the dollar.

That means that it will become politically impossible for some countries to stay in the Euro. When you are in a debt deflation, some monetary adjustment really helps (Krugman has the chart, here). The initial hit Argentina took was brutal, but once the currency adjustment had been made, things picked up nicely for them.

So, one by one, I suspect the mourners will start to head for their cars. If I were Spain - a country that played by the rules but is still condemned to a decade of stagnation to please Teutonic conceits - I'd be heading there now (and slapping a tariff on German imports).

The other big news is that Belgium has a government now, so I guess they've got that going for them.

21st century auditing

2011-12-08T16:51:00.001-08:00

The head of bankrupt US brokerage firm MF Global, Jon Corzine, has told a congressional committee that he has no idea where its clients' money has gone.

This brings to mind Dave Barry's 2002 account of the Enron audit:

AUDITOR: OK, so you're saying you made $600 million in profit.

EXECUTIVE: Correct.

AUDITOR: Can I see it?

EXECUTIVE: Sure! It's right here in my desk! UH-oh! The drawer is stuck!

AUDITOR: Wow! Just like last year!

(link)

Iran and Xe, 14th Century Style

2011-12-07T12:02:00.001-08:00

Python and medieval historian Terry Jones calls out the drumbreat for war, in particular with Iran.

"The nightmare had begun. Huge armies of brigands rampaging through Europe was a disaster second only to the plague. It seemed as if the genie had been let out of the bottle and there was no way of putting him back in. Warfare had suddenly turned into a profitable business; the Italian city states became impoverished as taxpayers' money was used to buy off the free companies. And since those who made money out of the business of war naturally wished to go on making money out of it, warfare had no foreseeable end.

Wind forward 650 years or so. The US, under George W Bush, decided to privatise the invasion of Iraq by employing private "contractors" like the Blackwater company, now renamed Xe Services. In 2003 Blackwater won a $27m no-bid contract for guarding Paul Bremer, then head of the Coalition Provisional Authority. For protecting officials in conflict zones since 2004, the company has received more than $320m. And this year the Obama government contracted to pay Xe Services a quarter of a billion dollars for security work in Afghanistan. This is just one of many companies making its profits out of warfare.

In 2000 the Project for the New American Century published a report, Rebuilding America's Defenses, whose declared aim was to up the spending on defence from 3% to 3.5% or 3.8% of American gross domestic product. In fact it is now running at 4.7% of GDP. In the UK we spend about $57bn a year on defence, or 2.5% of GDP."

Cooler than the voices in my head

2011-12-07T07:47:00.001-08:00

Guy draws the (NPR) voices in his head. (link)

I don't think that word means what you think it means

2011-12-07T07:19:00.001-08:00

Dr. Kapital posts this from the afternoon Thalys from Paris to Brussels (no, really!):

When everybody can ignore your chief risk officer, he's not really your chief risk officer, is he?

Mr. Hardy, the Son of Sorrow, and the Chosen One

2011-12-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

G.H. Hardy, A Mathemetician's Apology
Alexander Alekhine, My Best Games of Chess
Jeremy Silman, Masked Grandmaster Redux

Hardy's Apology

After Borders closed its Palo Alto store, I noticed that there was actually another bookstore in town - a small one with a superb collection of used books. Situated on a quiet side street, it's a nice place to sneak away from the office and refresh the mind. On one such break a few weeks ago I noticed there a slim volume by the British mathemetician G.H. Hardy, entitled A Mathematician's Apology.

I knew of Hardy only for his acknowledgement of the genius of Ramanujan, and his subsequent efforts to help the young Indian develop his powers. It was a remarkable act of diligence and intellectual honesty: two other English academics had seen Ramanujan's work - sent to them unsolicited from India - and returned it without comment, presumably unable to believe that works of genius might arrive in the daily post. But Hardy took the time to study the material carefully...

[F]ormulas (1) to (4) are harder than they look... (5) and (6) I could do, but with difficulty... (7) I have done myself... (8) is a formula by Laplace which was proved by Jacobi... (9) is in a paper by Rogers in 1907... (10) and (11) are not true... (12) to (15) defeated me completely ...

...and, after consulting with Littlewood, concluded that he was looking not at a crank letter, but the work of "a mathematician of the highest quality, a man of altogether exceptional originality and power."

Hardy believed that discovering Ramanujan was his greatest achievement, and in his lifetime it probably was. But his reputation has grown as many of his mathematical discoveries have found application in genetics and cryptography. This would have appalled him. It was a point of particular pride for Hardy that his work - unlike that of many other scientists and physicists - had no military application, or any practical application at all. Mathematicians could rejoice, he said, knowing that "there is one science [number theory] at any rate...whose very remoteness from ordinary human activities should keep it gentle and clean."

He hated mechanical devices of all kinds - according to C.P. Snow's Foreword, Hardy would barely use a phone, and wanted nothing to do with cameras. As a result, there are only four or five photographs of him extant.

Get that blasted thing away from me

In Hardy's Apology, then, the value of a mathematician derives from the immaculate beauty of his creations, not their utility. I am interested in mathematics," he wrote, "only as a creative art."

And, like painting, chess, or the symphony, not just anyone could do it. Hardy subscribed to the elitist ethic - not everyone has talent, but if you do, you'd better pursue it with everything you have.

‘I do what I do because it is the one and only thing that I can do at all well. I am a lawyer, or a stockbroker, or a professional cricketer, because I have some real talent for that particular job. I am a lawyer because I have a fluent tongue, and am interested in legal subtleties; I am a stockbroker because my judgment of the markets is quick and sound; I am a professional cricketer because I can bat unusually well. I agree that it might be better to be a poet or a mathematician, but unfortunately I have no talent for such pursuits.’

I am not suggesting that this is a defence which can be made by most people, since most people can do nothing at all well. But it is impregnable when it can be made without absurdity, as it can by a substantial minority: perhaps five or even ten percent of men can do something rather well.

Hardy argues in the Apology that mathematics is actually among the most widely-appreciated of the arts...if you count the millions of people who appreciate mathematics without knowing it:

There are masses of chessplayers in every civilized country – in Russia, almost the whole educated population; and every chessplayer can recognize and appreciate a “beautiful” game or problem. Yet a chess problem is simply an exercise in pure mathematics (a game not entirely, since psychology also plays a part), and everyone who calls a problem “beautiful” is applauding mathematical beauty, even if it is a beauty of a comparatively lowly kind. Chess problems are the hymn-tunes of mathematics.

Chess, in other words, is math for those unable to appreciate the real stuff. Hardy twists the knife:

I feel some sympathy even with conjurors and ventriloquists and when Alekhine and Bradman set out to beat records, I am quite bitterly disappointed if they fail.

The Son of Sorrow

Even under the best of circumstances chess masters tend to live in straitened circumstances. Internation Master Jeremy Silman was once asked what attracted him to chess. "The money and the women," he replied. As a special bonus, many chess masters suffer from mental disorders, from poor Pillsbury's syphilitic dementia, to Morphy's melancholia, to Fischer's descent into self-centered hatred and delusion. Alekhine was, by comparison, relatively small-time, spending some time in a mental institution due to alcoholism.

As every schoolchild knows, Alexander Alexandrovich Alekhine was the model European 20th Century Man. He survived the Russian Revolution and World War I, lived in France, dominated world chess in the 1930s, collaborated with the Nazis, married four times, defeated the immortal Capablanca, fathered a bastard child with a Baroness, lost to Euwe but then won his title back, died under mysterious circumstances, and drank too much and was a lawyer.

The Russians idolize him.

I used to play Alekhine's games out of a book, and even though I didn't know what was going on, I could tell just from looking that it was big chess. You could play through the games of some grandmasters - Smyslov comes to mind - and never see much excitement. The British grandmaster Ray Keene says he quit high level competition because he realized he was never going to understand Smyslov's quiet but precise brand of positional play: "I could never understand what Smyslov was up to - I thought I was doing well but nearly always lost..."

But when you were playing Alekhine, there was no such ambiguity. He smashed his opponents to bits. In 1964 Fischer wrote an article for Chessworld magazine entitled "The 10 Greatest Masters in History". Of Alekhine he wrote,

Alekhine is a player I've never really understood; yet, strangely, if you've seen one Alekhine game you've seen them all. He always wanted a superior center; he maneuvered his pieces toward the King side, and around the twenty-fifth move, began to mate his opponent... His play was fantastically complicated, more so than any player before or since.

Fischer, a disciple of the spurned and immaculate Capablanca, didn't care for Alekhine's approach, saying "in a sense his whole method of play was a mistake."

Of course he was right, taken on his own terms. Alekhine did not always play correct chess. He played the kind of chess he thought would maximize his chances of victory, and that meant tailoring his style to his opponent. Against the immensely powerful Capablance, he played careful, theoretically correct chess. Against lesser mortals Alekhine often varied sharply from orthodoxy. He might play his own provocation, Alekhine's Defense, or other "unsound" openings such as the Benoni (so named because it was first described in a 19th-century manuscript entitled Benoni - Hebrew for "Son of Sorrow"). It wasn't a good idea to try and play the Benoni against him, however - Levenfish tried it at St. Petersburg in 1912, and Alekhine wiped him off the board in 19 moves. The finish included a double rook sacrifice - the chess equivalent of a windmill dunk.

In those days the World Championship worked like a game of keep-away. The sitting champion could dictate terms and choose his challengers. After defeating Capablanca, Alekhine would not consent to a return match, playing the likes of Bogoljubow and Euwe instead.

Euwe, a very good player and the author of some fine chess education books, was the perfect opponent for Alekhine. He was competent but not particularly imaginative, making him the ideal straight man for Alekhine's flights of creative imagination.

Alekhine-Euwe, 1935 (Alekhine standing, 2nd from left)

The only problem was that Alekhine came to the 1935 match drunk and overconfident, and managed to lose his title. Showing more class than his opponent would have, Euwe granted a rematch, and in 1937 Alekhine (presumably sipping milk and doing dumb-bell curls) recaptured the title, which he held until his death in 1946.

Alekhine and Hardy came to similar ends - both died alone, having suffered greatly as their creative powers began to wane. Like professional athletes, their art had defined every aspect of their lives. The uncompromising ethos they shared had taken them to the heights, but left them bereft when their powers deserted them. Snow visited Hardy a few times during his last days, but says he was one of only a few. Hardly anyone showed up at Alekhine's funeral.

But, Hardy might argue, that was part of the bargain. The greatest creative ability alienates the creator. Not everyone can create a masterpiece. For those who can, the only genuine company - in the sense of empathy or a deeper understanding - may come from the dead, or great artists yet to be born.

The Chosen One

Of course I have no standing to comment seriously on these matters because I have no particular talent. Like Hardy, I believe that, for genius to take root, there must be a germ of creative potential to begin with.

In chess I quickly realized my upside was seriously limited. With a lot of practice, and serious devotion to the game, I think perhaps I might have reached expert level or a little higher. But that is not high enough to compete seriously, and certainly not high enough to create any kind of art at the chessboard.

Although there was this one time in San Francisco...

Not me, alas, it was a narcoleptic kid who used to play at the Mechanics Library.

"Look at my game! Look at my game! I've played a brilliancy!" screamed Michael Mills, a class "C" player.

And indeed he had. Silman's account of this astonishing event first appeared in Chess Life in 1974, and an updated version of the article appears here.

"Who was that masked grandmaster?" asked GM Larry Christiansen. Even Hardy and Alekhine might smile, wondering what Mills had done to please the gods so well that - for just one day - he could have the creative power to make a game for the ages.

6-1

2011-12-04T17:38:00.001-08:00

How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?

Broncos now tied for AFC West lead. (link)

Just another day at the office

2011-12-04T10:43:00.001-08:00

“I did my job, that was all,” lead defusing expert Horst Lenz told local daily Rhein Zeitung...after defusing a 1.8 ton WW2 bomb.

(link)

True dat

2011-12-03T17:07:00.001-08:00

The estimable Peter Egan in this month's Road and Track:

[T]hey wanted to present me with an award for being The Oldest Living Person to Have Built a 948 Sprite Engine on His Kitchen Table and Carried it Down a Flight of Stairs Right Before Going to the Hospital with Intense Back Pain That Would Persist Forever.

Actually, that wasn't the exact wording. It was a "Sharing the Passion" award, but the idea was about the same. If we live long enough and suffer greatly from our own stupidity, someone finally notices.

Out of the car, Ichiro - the Law wants a word with you

2011-12-03T08:20:00.001-08:00

Yada’s international license was apparently not sufficient to satisfy the letter of the law, which required him to carry either an Alabama license or one issued by Japan. The charges were dismissed only when his attorney faxed a copy of his Japanese driver’s license to the judge.

(link)

Wasn't tomorrow wonderful?

2011-12-02T12:11:00.001-08:00

Enron invented the Cloud. You're welcome.

Ahhh

2011-11-30T17:01:00.001-08:00

Dr. Kapital posts this from the Ritz Carlton in Chicago:

Central banking isn't so hard. Helicopters, baskets of cash, and suddenly everybody's happy.

It's good to buy time, but have you noticed, Angela, how it gets more expensive each time you buy more?

Meanwhile #2.

2011-11-29T13:38:00.001-08:00

The Iraq veteran who stood peacefully while getting shot in the head with a tear gas canister is slowly recovering from his brain injury, and has just started to speak - (good luck finding that in the Chronicle.) Meanwhile, the Bank of America CEO who lied while organizing tens of billions in secretly subsidized loans from the Fed, revealed now in a lawsuit, has not even been hit in the nuts with one little rubber bullet.

"I am a Tebowist"

2011-11-28T19:59:00.000-08:00

I enjoy every shot of John Fox and John Elway at the end of another Tebow win when they look like they don't know whether to laugh or cry. I am a Tebowist.

(link)

The Bay today, from just south of SFO

2011-11-28T19:21:00.001-08:00

The toilets flush, too

2011-11-27T18:51:00.001-08:00

"Someone Rebuilt the Titanic. In the Crysis Engine." (link)

Can I get an A-men?

2011-11-26T22:16:00.001-08:00

Brad DeLong:

Who the FUCK are Donald Kagan and Niall Ferguson to dare to claim that I share an essential "Western" identity with somebody like Brigadier General Reginald E.H. Dyer? Or with somebody like Marcus Tullius Cicero, who joked that Julius Caesar was an idiot for invading Britain for the island had no silver to plunder and its inhabitants were too stupid and uneducated to make good slaves?

They can all go off in their corner together.

I am not one of them, and my civilization is not theirs.(link)

Not sure why an economist is needed to explain this, but here you go

2011-11-26T19:31:00.001-08:00

"[T]he notion that denying health care to the near-poor is a serious deficit-reduction policy, but raising taxes on the very rich is not, is not something you can justify at all on the basis of the actual numbers."(link)

The next Mars rover, launched today, weighs one ton

2011-11-26T12:53:00.001-08:00

Made me smile

2011-11-25T18:23:00.001-08:00

Correction

2011-11-24T22:04:00.001-08:00

I used to think Base 12 was all that, but I'm getting more partial to Base 3 on account of its optimal radix economy, and the existential appropriateness of a logical system that allows for "true", "false", and "some indeterminate third value."

I think this would resolve the Schrödinger's cat paradox by allowing us to classify the cat not as "alive" or "dead", but as in "some indeterminate state". And you could do math on that, and everything.

I've looked for one of these on Ebay, but to no avail. Doubt it would run Skyrim in any case...

Sly Stone said it first

2011-11-24T11:26:00.001-08:00

Flamin' eyes of peoples fear, burnin' into you
Many men are missin` much, hatin' what they do

Youth and truth are makin' love
Dig it for a starter
Dyin' young is hard to take
Sellin' out is harder

Rickles on Ferguson

2011-11-23T22:54:00.001-08:00

Part 1
Part 2

The center does not hold

2011-11-23T22:18:00.001-08:00

Dr. Kapital tweets this from the Hotel Monaco in Venice:

The hour is getting late Angela. What will you tell the people? (link)

Wish I could have said that

2011-11-22T18:31:00.001-08:00

The best comment I've seen on the UC Davis pepper spray incident.

The walk of shame:

"There is only one thing that works in the face of the iron faces, and that is decency." - Robert Aitken

Now that I'd pay to see

2011-11-22T17:48:00.001-08:00

Come on Jordan Bring it. One on one. I win lockout over. I'll beat u with my eyes closed and a in and out burger in my right hand

(link)

Snark Meter Pegged

2011-11-22T10:00:00.001-08:00

By the Roots, introducing Michelle Bachman.

I don't even need a reason

2011-11-21T19:34:00.001-08:00

Submitted without comment

2011-11-21T17:22:00.000-08:00

2011-11-20T12:23:00.001-08:00

New stuff not finished yet, but I've redesigned the IRONCANDY blogspot site to be, you know, readable, with the following introduction:

Q: What is Rebar for Tootsie Rolls? A: Put a Sock in Your Pie Hole, Buster!

On a chilly gray November morning, in an old motor oil box unearthed in the half-lit basement backroom of a decrepit booksellers in Portland, Oregon, was recently found a moth-eaten pile of torn, disconsolate WWII pulp detective magazines stacked like a pile of action pancakes, covered in forsaken syrup. The stories within the yellowing, dusty newsprint pages, crumbling, covered in expiring bookstore ennui and both usual and unusual stains, were torn in half, incomplete, and bespoke- yes bespoke -of another era, where a man could do good when he got up in the morning even in San Francisco just by finding the right Nazi joker to sucker-punch in the kidney. And in the day, he could make a little cabbage slapping around a two-timing claims adjuster or maybe an amateur grammarian with a stick up his keister over conjunctions. And by the evening, he could be charming a smoking hot blond tomato who just stepped out of a Vargas poster into distracting him from the existential wounds of modernity, simply by drinking too much and showing her his really neat gun.

These are those stories that were those there.

2011-11-19T20:05:00.001-08:00

(link)

Just sayin'...

No

2011-11-19T16:27:00.001-08:00

And then the waiter says: "would you like cheese on that?"

Sorry Fritz, your papers are not in order

2011-11-19T10:54:00.001-08:00

Looks like he'll be managing the production of luxury sedans at the Stateville Prison from now on.

Stand up and say something

2011-11-18T20:20:00.001-08:00

With the cops pepper-spraying octogenarians and the plutocrats laughing it up, I am thinking today of this obituary I saw in The Economist a while back.

When he talked, he sounded tired. He was. Tired of the bollocks. Tired of people not taking responsibility for their inhumaneness to their fellow man.

Mail Call

2011-11-17T20:57:00.001-08:00

To: FSL
From: CSG

Thanks for the sack of fungi.

If the Police Evicted Those Really Occupying Wall St:

2011-11-17T11:12:00.000-08:00

The Actual Wall Street Occupiers Update Blog

Updated, 12:40 p.m. | Hundreds of financiers from Chase Manhattan, Goldman Sachs and CitiGroup arrived at work in the New York Stock Exchange on Thursday morning and were met by officers, many in helmets and wielding batons. At least 75 people were arrested, the police said.

The raging financiers then returned to the Exchange, where they yanked out barricades that had been placed there on Tuesday in order to create single-file entrances. Perhaps a thousand bankers streamed into the building, followed by officers who began making more arrests. Officers could be seen shoving and hitting speculators and journalists.

The morning’s demonstrations were part of a Wall Street “Day of Action” planned for Thursday, the four-century anniversary of the corporate movement. It is to include events at bistros throughout the city at 3 p.m. and a gathering at Foley Square downtown at 5, followed by leisurely drives across Lower Manhattan bridges. See latest developments below.

By 12:30, the barricades were back up around Manhattan and financiers were being funneled in single file as before. The chaos had subsided enough for the protesters to order a large number of personal assistants:

@WallStNYC #WALLSTREET
Here at @manpower.com, more than 300 personal assistants ordered! We're bringing first 40 to #libertysquare in 15 minutes. Come 2 entrance w/ cams!
Thu Nov 17 17:30:43 via #OCCUPYWALLSTREET

¶But people strolling the streets a few blocks south encountered confusing situations, sometimes being hemmed in on Broadway by police barricades manned by helmeted officers, who sometimes gave contradictory orders, directing financial services attorneys to move but sometimes not providing egress.

¶At one point on Broadway, near Wall Street, men in suits and overcoats resorted to clambering over a metal police barricade or ducking through a barricade missing some of its rails. All the while, bands of financiers milled on those streetside cafes, marching north and south, waving martinis and chattering.

11:20 A.M. Financiers Yank Barricades. Some Are Arrested.

¶Around 11 a.m., hundreds of financiers streamed into the New York Stock Exchange, shoving aside barricades and flowing into the granite expanse that they had been ousted from on Tuesday. They chanted "our money!" and lifted barricades in the air..

¶Since Tuesday, the NYSE had been surrounded by metal police barricades with one or two entrances that were monitored by police officers and private security working for the Justice Department, and the Federal Reserve, the money's owner.

¶But when a crowd of several hundred people arrived at the after the stock exchange march, they did not use those entrances. Instead several CNBC analysts grabbed barricades, first on the south side of the park, then on the north side, and slid them away clearing a wide area for others to flow into the granite expanse that they had been ousted from on Tuesday.

¶By 11:15 a.m., perhaps a thousand investors filled the NYSE, standing on benches and milling about.

¶A line of police officers wielding batons pushed into the crowd at Balthazar's who were noshing on fois gras, but after a moment those officers were directed backward by Joseph J. Esposito, the chief of the department.

¶But before Chief Esposito directed the police back, several officers could be seen shoving and punching brokers and journalists.

¶A line of helmeted police officers formed a cordon along the south side of the building, holding in place those barricades that had not been moved by the crowd. Columns of officers filled Balthazar's, equipped with wooden batons and handcuffs. Officers could be seen leading people down that street who had been cuffed behind their backs.

- Colin Moynihan

10:15 A.M. Scores of Arrests Near Stock Exchange

Robert Stolarik for The New York Times. Officers with batons moved on the crowd of Stock Analysts at Le Circe, disrupting the salad course.

¶At the stock exchange in the early morning, many members of the group pushed through lines formed by police, waving bearer bonds and banging iphones as they moved. The police started taking brokers into custody who had sat down on the street about a block away from the exchange.

¶"Sidewalk!" an officer shouted, shoving Mayor Bloomberg out of the road.

¶Another protester held a sign nearby: "Tear down this Capital Gains tax" The demonstrators and the large deployment of police officers snarled traffic on streets around the exchange.

¶Financiers chanted, "We are the 1%' and "We are afraid of your nightsticks!''

¶Financiers had vowed to prevent protestors from reaching the stock exchange on Wall Street, and some citizens did appear to have a hard time reaching the building. But the stock exchange opened for trading as usual at 9:30 a.m.

¶About 10 a.m., Paul J. Browne, the Police Department's chief spokesman, said "there are probably between 50 and 60 arrests." Most were in the conference rooms, he said. About 30 to 40 of the arrests occurred there, Mr. Browne said. He said another 20 arrests were in a handful of other locations, such as the New York Yacht Club.

¶One of the more intense confrontations took place before 10 a.m. near the intersection of Broad Street and Beaver Street, where a few hundred people had gathered, drinking and chatting and brandishing black umbrellas.

¶A line of police officers surged into the crowd, shoving brokers, bankers and investment consultants to the sidewalk, grabbing some and hurling them to the ground, and using long batons to strike others with overhand blows. Officers then walked up Beaver Street pushing the crowd back. Many of the bankers moved around the corner joining another group sitting in a circle, performing makeshift repairs on their shattered monocles.

¶About 11 :30 a.m. at the corner of Nassau and Pine Streets, about 300 people stood and sat in the bar waving hands and ordering appetizers. A few minutes later, a police officer announced through a megaphone: "You're obstructing financial traffic. If you don't leave Le Circe, you'll be subject to arrest."

¶At Pearl and Wall Streets, there were some arrests as the police tried to keep the streets sidewalks open for ordinary people. Most of the charges stemming from those arrests were for disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and fradulent financial transactions in excess of $100 million.

Chang W. Lee/The New York Times. Dirty Hippies gathered to delight in the widespread arrests of raging financiers.

The Joys of Escape Pods

2011-11-16T21:07:00.001-08:00

One of Cracked's finer efforts.

Et tu Newt?

2011-11-16T07:29:00.001-08:00

Dr. Kapital posts this from the regulatory capture bar at the 18th World Offshore Convention:

Helping a government-sponsored enterprise with its own dedicated regulator preserve the status quo? A nice paycheck, but it's just not cricket, old chap.

And still you doubt

2011-11-16T07:20:00.001-08:00

Women forgets alien in fridge.

Meditation on 'Terms of Enrampagement'

2011-11-12T17:30:00.000-08:00

I generally don't care for violence in entertainment. Some folks see it as harmless, and derive some enjoyment. The Laird, for example, might relax for the weekend with back-to-back viewings of Straw Dogs and Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, with Bullet in the Head for dessert. My tastes run more toward 1970s sitcoms and Youtube virals. Don't know why. Could be a left-handed thing.

Or a Christian thing. I've adopted something like the Easterbrook Compromise. His autotext on this is: "as TMQ readers know, my compromise with my Baptist upbringing is to be pro-topless but antigambling." He's also anti-violence - recall that he lost his job at ESPN for a time because of remarks that started off as a denunciation of the violence in Kill Bill. I'm on roughly the same page, though a bit more tolerant of gambling. I'm definitely anti-violence. And we can agree that topless is cool.

I think serious religious analysis supports this. In the Twelve-ish Commandments, nudity is not mentioned, and lust is delimited really only by marital status. Killing, by contrast, is strictly proscribed. Jesus washed the feet of prostitutes, not soldiers or Hong Kong film directors. The Dalai Lama says he misses sex, but does not admit similar longings for (say) gladiatorial combat.

Q: Is there anything you regret, Your Holiness?
A: Yes, the prohibition on violence. I wish, just once, I would could pound Cain Velasquez's face into a bloody pulp. I call this True Fulfillment.

(I don't mean to offend our secular readers with these Deo-centric rationales - if you prefer to find your own path, modern methods make that possible.)

So I generally don't like violence - even "cartoon violence" - in my entertainment. Why then did I enjoy - immensely - the Archer episode 'Placebo Effect'? (Key excerpt here, until they take it down.)

Blogger Eric Hochberger has posted a review of 'Placebo Effect' that gets at some of the key stuff:

Without introducing Ruth, Archer's rampage would have been yet another selfish moment in his life. But by getting so close to an elderly cancer patient, Sterling revealed his sensitive side that his character hides so well. Layering her throughout the episode in marijuana-induced flashbacks gave Archer a purpose the audience could get behind no matter how dark and violent things got.

Yeah, that's it. Righteous violence. Sweet, tasty, revenge. The Laird once told me that media depictions of justified violence had been found to be the most harmful type for the moral development of children. Taken seriously, he noted, this would make Star Wars the most harmful movie of all time.

There's something to that. Even as a small child I noticed - despite serious efforts at moral education by the local church - that revenge was very satisfying. And it wasn't a shallow or temporary satisfaction...it was rich, lasting, and rewarding. And franky, that hasn't changed much in adulthood. Who among us has not riddled a sadistic crime lord with bullets after tracking him to his hideout in Mongkok? Who can honestly say they didn't enjoy the experience?

But no, that's not...exactly...it. Why is 'Placebo Effect' so engaging? What is it reminding me of?

Oh...I got it. I'd been thrown off by the narcissism thing. Archer's a narcissist, and I'd been focused on that, forgetting that narcissism and killing are on fairly intimate terms. You know who else was a killer narcissist? Well, yes. Yes. Yes, him too. But you know who else?

Right, Achilles.

When did Achilles light up the Trojans? When they killed Patroclus, the only thing he loved that wasn't him. And so it is with Archer. Ruth's death pushes a skilled killer into The Rampage Zone.

But unlike Achilles, who was half-man, half-god, Archer is just half-man. Reduced to a quivering shell by his chemo, he is flickering in and out of coherence and consciousness. The vomiting is a nice touch, recalling Eliot:

The wounded surgeon plies the steel
That questions the distempered part;
Beneath the bleeding hands we feel
The sharp compassion of the healer's art
Resolving the enigma of the fever chart.

I think you could add "with a shotgun" right there at the end and it would sort of work.

So you have this...this otherworldly rampage, this unholy rampage. And that's where the Iliad takes you, too. All the speeches and fighting and little side stories are just a prelude to the Very Special episode when Achilles loses his mind and rips through the Trojan army.

It's not personal, it's not business, it's just what he has to do: Lycaon begs for his life, but "it's a rampage, Lana!" Alexander Pope translates:

These words, attended with a shower of tears,
The youth address’d to unrelenting ears:
"Talk not of life, or ransom (he replies):
Patroclus dead, whoever meets me, dies."

There is something horribly pure in it, something past hate or grief, or any moral calculation. The killer, intoxicated with power, assumes the mantle of God, unmindful of the consequences.

"Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's Superman. Give him two and he thinks he's God." - Woo, 3:08

But Archer does not pretend to be a god. As a comic hero he has the advantage of his genre - his many and obvious flaws do not doom him, but serve as light entertainment for the rest of us. In the process however, we accidentally glimpse, amid the grief and rage, something resembling a soul.

Signal

2011-11-12T16:48:00.001-08:00

In a sea of football yak yak, Chris Brown's "Draw it Up" pieces for Grantland are refreshingly...good.