District of Columbia Dreamin'

I just spent a long weekend in DC - among the highlights:

B-2 takes off from National, banks directly over the mall parking lot, much to the astonishment of a host of militarians (my word - I like it) at the Pentagon City Shopping Center.

The President whips by me as I peer at the motorcade through the Korean War Memorial Statuary, directly between the guns of two lost soldiers - I forget to flip the bird.

Next time in DC, visit the Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt memorials, which serve as a grand and deeply moving testament to our highest national values, as well as a truly breathtaking counterpoint to the quivering asshole currently occupying the office.

Don't walk, run in a stately manner, to the Da Vinci in the National Gallery. At some point in history, some dink cut off the lower third of the painting. "Virtuem Forma Decorata." - "Beauty Adorns Virtue," is written on the back.

Speaking of which, when visiting Washington, I recommend touring the sights with a stunning woman sporting stylish red hair- service improves significantly.

And now, for your assistance: Suggestions?

LEAST KNOWN FEDERAL AGENCIES


Federal Beetle Administration (- Pogo)

National Chit Fanning Council

Incredibly Vague Services Administration

Espresso, Ice Cream and Tanning Salon Regulatory Commission

National Endowment for Tasteful Decorations

DC Fund for Heavily Armed Subway Passengers

Bush Center for Intelligence (real!)

-Potentate without Portfolio