Regretfully Rejected Headlines for Bush UN Speech

Bush Near-Success in Meeting Vastly Lowered Expectations Regarded as Triumph Among Several

Crickets, Frogs Give Tepid Applause Run for Its Money

White House Pols Delight in Relative Lack of Flying, Rotten Vegetables

Bush Protects Lives of U.S. Troops by Playing to Conservative Base

Wolfowitz Follow-Up Outlines Belgian Invasion

UN Blames Reception on Wicked Headache after Annan's Brooklyn Warehouse Rave

Google Search of UN Reaction Returns 4 Million hits for Word "Feeble."

Doms Direct Sex Slaves to Beg for Bush Policy Initiative