ONLY 7 MONTHS TO GO UNTIL HAGGIS SEASON
As you all no doubt know, haggis hunting season begins at noon on St. Andrew's Day and ends at 3 pm on Burn's Nicht. This year, I'm aiming to win this contest sponsored by The Scotsman which operates several Haggis Cams.

In anticipation, allow me to offer some haggis beverage recipes, cribbed from the above source:

Whisky with haggis chaser
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A Haggis
A glass
A very very small amount of water (dinnae droon it laddie)

Method
Place generous amount of whisky in glass. Wave water over whisky. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure.

Bloody haggis
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A glass
A very very small jug of water
Tomato juice
Worcester sauce
Stick of celery
Bottle of vodka

Method
Place generous amount of whisky in glass. Wave water quickly over whisky. Reserve tomato juice for the next time you cook linguine. Place celery in bunnet. Dab Worcester sauce behind ears. You are now ready for a night on the town. Put vodka somewhere that local teenagers will be unable to find it. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure.

Haggis sunrise
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A large carton of orange juice
A Haggis
A glass
A very very small jug of water

Method
Dash eight sloshes of whisky into glass. Show water to whisky from minimum distance of ten yards. Carefully put carton of orange juice unopened in fridge lest it go off. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure.

Sloe comfortable haggis against the wall
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A large carton of orange juice
A Haggis
A glass
A very very small jug of water
A random selection of those lesser liquors in garish bottles so beloved by dull people seeking glamour

Method
Half-fill glass with whisky, then add more whisky. Sotto voce mention existence of water to whisky. Pour other spirits into the nearest pot plant. Give juice to tee totaller. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure.

Russian Haggis
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A glass
A very very small jug of water
Bottle of vodka
Coffee liqueur
Cream

Method
Hold bottle of whisky vertically over glass for several seconds. Place jug of water in next room. Carefully position liqueur in cupboard beside tea bags – if you want ******* coffee, you’ll drink ******* coffee. Place vodka unopened in freezer – it’ll feel at home there. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure. Drizzle cream round plate for dead classy presentation.

Haggis margarita
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A Haggis
A lime
Lime juice
Bottle of tequila
Salt
A glass
Another glass
Small jug of water.

Method
Wet rim of glass and dip in salt. Cut lime into slices and attach to rim of glass. Wet bottom of glass with lime juice. Fill glass to rim with tequila. Drop lit match into glass. Now you have made a nice home-made heater, sit down beside it, rest your feet on the haggis and enjoy a wee dram.

[Wow! I can't wait to get home for dinner tonight! -LoM]