THE NEW DICK CHENEY

The National Enquirer is reporting that Bush's new running mate will be Rudy G. Unlike the New York Post, the Enquirer is extremely accurate in these matters. You know why? Because they're willing to pay for the story, like Starsky and Hutch used to with Huggy Bear. While "serious journalists" surf the net for stills from the latest beheading video to put on the front page, the Enquirer's out there, spreading the sugar and getting the dirt.

Rudy G. would make it a much tougher battle - might even make W. the favorite again...