Standard Text: Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove Insult

(Following the success of the Rush Limbaugh characterization, I am moved anew to attack Karl Rove, so, to wit:)

Karl "Turd-Blossom" Rove's career began with dirty tricks for Dick of Dicks Nixon and launched through the pretend victory of 2000 directly into the George Bush Pineal Gland, who you may remember as the source of the nickname "Turd-Blossom."A prime specimen of necrotizing fasciitis, this Stay-Puff Marshmellow Machiavelli, so right-wing he makes Caligula look like Susan Sarandon, is a disappointed traitor lacking only a more powerful nation to sell out to, although Bob Novak will do in a pinch. As a child in texas dreaming of Ming the Magnificent and itching to lay waste to the earth, he laced a friend's peppermint tea with arsenic for correctly spelling "canoe."

In person he resembles Himmler with creme filling, and his erotic fantasies of Snidely Whiplish never distract from the day to day responsibilities of fucking America in lather on a swing. If the Rovian idea honor is hiding in Alabama and still running away, he later showed us that Max Cleland betrayed his country by selfishly keeping a remaining limb as a souveneir.

Rove is an all-you-can-eat buffet nazi and pooh-pigeon, who has buffed both snivelling and dissembling into standard ethics, and reeks of ozone from a malfunctioning cell phone, which is suspected of destroying the part of his brain responsible for empathy. This is false, as an self-performed ethictomy was performed in June of 1972 with a 5/9 handdrill and a pair of tweezers that originally belonged to Roy Cohn.

That's Karl Rove, baby, don't get in his way. Cause he's rolling down the Beltway, evil, proud, and gay. (In the sense of happy. And cocksucking. )