November 10, 2004

Fine Book

Going through Lone Star Swing the second time. Scotsman Duncan McLean gets interested in Bob Wills, wins a literary award, and blows the money on a trip to Texas in search of western swing. There's a lot of very good material on Bob Wills and his cohorts, and, for no extra charge, an almost anthropological take on mid-90's Texas.

He stands at the locked door of a Luby's cafeteria two minutes before opening time on a Sunday morning, and glances out at the parking lot:

"Jesus! Every car had a middle-aged couple in it, and they were all staring right at me, mentally undressing me. They were looking for the mark of Satan burned into my skin...

"There was a clank behind me, and I jumped again. A lady in a pinnie was unlocking the door. Immediately the doors of every car in the lot swung open, and several hundred men, women, and children climbed out, straightened and patted their Sunday best, and marched towards me."

He survives this, and even goes to the Bob Wills Day celebration in Turkey, Texas.

Just thinking...maybe it's time we made our peace with the reddest of the Red States. Maybe we oughta take a road trip out to Turkey, Texas next April and see what all the hootin' and hollerin's about...


Blogger Viceroy De Los Osos said...

When my wife worked as a traveling physical therapist, we spent 3 month stints throughout Texas including Beaumont in East Texas, Corpus Christi in South Texas on the Gulf Coast and Abeline up North. It is a big state with allot of interesting stuff in it. Here are a few of my favorite memories:

-Armadillo races (a favorite event at county fairs)

-Dolphins (you can see Flipper almost any time)

-Whooping Cranes (South Texas is one of their few haunts. Birds in general are abundant since Texas is a Southern destination for many breeds.

-Driving (We referred to ourselves as Texas Speedbumps because we drove so much slower than even the average Texan. However, in Texas, if the car in front of you is driving slowly, they will politely pull over onto the shoulder and let you by. No bicyclists or pedestrians in Texas outside of Austin.

-Lizards. Everyone should live in at least one place where they can find lizards all over the side of their apartment building.

-Barbecue. Most good barbecue places in Texas have these things in common: They all have bucher paper taped to the tables. Each table comes with tabasco, napkins and a loaf of Wonder Bread. You pick you meat outside at the pit and bring it into the restaurant. The bucher paper is changed after each guest leaves.

-Christmas in San Antonio. 200 year-old Catholic Missions, Dinner in 80 degree heat. Christmas lights on the River Walk.

-The Waffle House. Walk into any waffle house in Texas and a collective call of "HOWDY" will ring out from each waiter and cook.

-Boiling pots. Put corn, sausage, onions, lots of spice, and about 100 crawdads, some blue crabs into hot water. Stir, simmer and dump out on bucher paper. Bring hammer and napkins.

Texas isn't all bad, but good luck trying to get a Liberal to visit. Noone I speak to would even consider anything but an in/out flight to Austin.

November 11, 2004 at 7:06 AM  
Blogger The Sum of All Monkeys said...

My only experience with Texas was attending a 'wings over Huston' ww2 flight sim convention there.

Bad news: Poor zoning in Huston puts a strip club in practically every block.

Good news: Poor zoning in Huston puts a strip club in practically every block.

November 11, 2004 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger Viceroy De Los Osos said...

Yes, Yes, Those of us from Anchorage would be right at home in Houston-Same nack for zoning, less dirty snow.

My suggestion for your road trip would be to enter Texas at El Paso (check out the tire fires and the pollution), hit San Antonio (really amazing river walk and the Alamo), Austin (The San Francisco of the South), Houston (Anchorage on Steroids but great free Natural History Museum) and head to the border with Lousiana for a taste of the Bijou, alligators, sfagmum moss and plantation livin'. On your way out, hit Dallas, the Confederate Air Force Museum in Midland and then Turkey, North to the Pan handle and through Lubbock and the Cadillac Ranch.

Let me know if you want a more precise list of spots to hit. I have always secretly wanted the be Julie from the Loveboat.

November 11, 2004 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger Corresponding Secretary General said...

I'm game.

What's a pinnie?

November 12, 2004 at 11:08 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home