The Mahjongg King

I believe I've mentioned the Hong Kong series "The Virtues of Harmony" in the past. It runs every night on Sir Run-Run Shaw's TVB network, which we get here in SF as The Jade Channel. No subtitles, so my wife translates on the fly.

"Virtues of Harmony" started out as a medieval court drama with a huge cast. It featured beautiful costumes and wacky antics as hicks from the countryside tried to survive in the Emporer's palace while his evil concubine (the estimable Stephanie Che) plotted their demise. After 322 episodes (let's see "Friends" top that) they wrapped it up - and reincarnated all the characters as modern citizens of Hong Kong. The modern series has now run even longer than the original (364 and counting).

The show has its ups and downs, but the recent "Mahjongg King" episodes were as good as anything that's ever run in the States. Lam Sin is a quiet taxi driver:




His domineering wife runs his life. One of the regular characters, a gambler named Gam (the Bluto Blutarsky of Hong Kong), learns that before his miserable marriage Lam Sin was the the best mahjongg player in town. Gam talks Lam Sin into trying the game again. He is caught by his wife, and she promptly moves out (and into the main characters' apartment), demanding an apology.

Liberated from his wife's influence, Lam Sin swiftly returns to form, and in days the word is out - there's a new sheriff in town:




Lam Sin win victory after victory over the best players Hong Kong has to offer.

Meanwhile, his wife is driving the main characters bananas. She's manipulative. She complains about everything, she's impossible to live with. Even Gam, who started the whole mess, is losing it. He asks Lam Sin to take her back, but no dice. The whole family decides: we have to get these two back together, or we'll never have any peace.

Lam Sin is playing in a tournament at a fancy hotel, so they make up a story and take his wife to dinner there. They are trying to figure out how to get Lam Sin to come in and apologize to her when she wanders off, just in time to see him take the microphone as the tournament winner. He says something like: "I owe all this to my wife who left me! Ha ha ha!"



Now, any Hong Kong gambler will tell you: women are bad luck. If you have a lottery ticket, don't let a woman touch it. If you have a favorite horse, never tell your wife its name - it'll never win again. And the ultimate luck killer, the sure-fire death of any winning streak, is if you're touched by women's underwear. Especially your head.

One day the Mahjongg King is at it again, wiping out some easy marks, when smoke starts pouring into the room. The hotel is on fire! He clambers out the window onto a drain pipe and starts to shimmy down. He hears a voice above him - looking up, he sees an enormous woman above him, losing her grip. The last thing he sees before he hits the pavement is the biggest pair of blue knickers in the history of the world.

So it's over, and he knows it. He begs his wife to take him back. She initially refuses, but when she overhears some girls talking about that hot Mahjongg King, she interrupts - there is only one Mrs. Lam, she says, and that's me.

And Lam Sin goes back to his taxi, with nothing but his memories.


Special thanks to "MetalAZNWarrior" who appears to have dedicated his life to this show.