Dear Parent or Guardian
It is with regret that we must inform you that your missile defense system has failed another test. Additionally, it fails to perform up to even the most minimal standards set for other missile defense systems of its age and development. During diagnostic sessions, your missile defense system often seems sluggish and uninterested. It consistently keeps to itself and makes every effort to shy away from other missiles even when interaction is initiated by beacons of greeting. We fear that if your missile defense system does not show marked improvement, we will have no other choice but keep it in during missile defense system recess.
posted by Viceroy De Los Osos at 6:42 PM
2 Comments:
As a proud parent of my interceptor anti-missle system, I am outraged that my kid has to be dragged through the mud like this!! This is a tremendous blow to his self-esteem at an early stage of his development, and I will not allow some teacher to destroy all his future success by constantly harping on his every little failure. So what if he's not living up to your so-called "standards." It's not like the other missles are so special anyway, they're mostly just stuck-up. And the cities he's supposed to protect! Anchorage, Seattle, Honolulu! I mean seriously, who really cares? And when my special little interceptor anti-missle system blows up Harvard, they'll all be sorry.
If I could only talk like this:
"I don't think that the goal was ever that we would declare it was operational. I think the goal was that there would be an operational capability by the end of 2004," Di Rita said on Thursday at a Pentagon press conference. "There has been some expectation that there will be some point at which it is operational and not something else, and I just don't think people should expect that for the near term."
DiRita said the system might never actually be declared operational.
"We haven't made a declaration that we are now hereby operational. I don't know that such a declaration will ever be made. But we have a nascent operational capability," he said.
I would have such a bright future in Marketing and Business Consulting firms. Alas, my operational capabilities remain merely nascent.
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