An Apology

The National Enquirer (required weekly reading in our household) recently published the following apology. Since they unaccountably put it on page 30, we thought we would give it additional exposure by reprinting it here in full for the gi-normous Eisengeiste reading audience:

"A cover story we ran entitled 'Teri Hatcher—Amazing Bedroom secrets' was based on an interview sold to us by an experienced freelance journalist who we now believe never actually conducted the interview. … Ms. Hatcher has never engaged in sexual relations with men in a van parked on her property, nor does she leave her child alone in her house while having 'steamy romps' with men in a 'passion wagon.' … We also published a story suggesting that Ms. Hatcher … had become 'desperately thin' and was 'wasting away.' … We now know that during the past seven years, her weight has fluctuated by only three pounds—a result of healthy diet, moderate exercise and a good metabolism. Ms. Hatcher is fit and looks great, and her healthy appearance is nothing new."

From the excellent Wikipedia article on The Enquirer: "Celebrity stories broken in the Enquirer have generally been proven true; for example, it was the Enquirer that uncovered in 2001 that the Rev. Jesse Jackson had an illegitimate child. Details of the Monica Lewinsky affair would normally have been untouched by the mainstream press had the details not been already made public knowledge by the Enquirer. The Enquirer was also regarded as having, by some distance, the best media coverage of the O.J. Simpson murder trial, even by academics studying the case and regular news pundits."