A Christmas Garland

A few years ago I was reading through a book of Roberston Davies' newspaper book reviews from the 40s and 50s (the wonderful The Enthusiasms of Robertson Davies). He recommended a peculiar book I had never heard of before, Max Beerbohm's A Christmas Garland. It consists of Christmas stories, written by Beerbohm in the style of his contemporaries - people like Joseph Conrad, G.K. Chesterton, Rudyard Kipling, and Thomas Hardy.

Without further ado, here is Beerbohm, doing Kipling, doing Christmas:

"Wot wusyer doin' hup there?" asked Judlip, tightening the grip.

"I'm S-Santa Claus, Sir. P-please Sir, let me go."

"Hold him," I shouted, "He's a German."

"It's my dooty to caution yer that wotever yer say now may be used in hevidence against yer, yer old sinner. Pick up that there sack an' come along o' me."

The captive snivelled something about peace on earth, good will to men.

"Yuss," said Judlip. "That's in the Noo Testament, ain't it? The Noo Testament contains some uncommon nice readin' for old gents 'n young ladies. But it ain't included in the librery of the Force."