A Large-ish Game

Dr. X posts this from the Mean Regression Archives at Stanford (0-5) University:

"We live in an age of hype, a time when even the lamest matchups are depicted as grudge matches or showdowns. Dom Capers faces off against his old wretched team with his new wretched team - and this time it's personal. Yeah, right.

"It's early in the season, but early in the season you can still have big games. Games that define character. Games that send a message. Games that tell the NFL you're the team to beat, and you'll put the hurt on anyone, anywhere. Games that earn respect.

"Tomorrow night, at 5:15 PST, the Seattle Seahawks will have a chance to play such a game. On the road. At Soldier Field. Against the NFC's best defense, a group that has yet to give up a TD pass this season. Against a quarterback who was just named the NFC's Offensive Player of the Month. In front of a jeering crowd of yahoos who couldn't tell the difference between a tall nonfat cappuccino and a vente half-caf caramel macchiato.

"Seriously. This is a major test. If they go in there and fold up, like they probably will, it's back to the bad old days, and the Seahawks will be walking the path of other Super Bowl losers who took the Express right back to mediocrity.

"But if they can go in there and smack the Bears down a little, get after them from the first snap and put their stamp on the game early - get a lead and make Chicago play catch-up - then finally, finally, they'll start to get some of the respect they have so long been denied.

"Gentlemen (and Lady), this is a big game. It'll make the Thrilla in Manila look like Magilla Gorilla. It'll make El Alamein look like Priscilla Queen of the Desert! It'll make Scarface look like Ultimate Makeover, all right?! IT'S GOING TO BE A BIG GAME!!!"