The 5 stages

Of a republican scandal:

1. "I don't know of any investigation"
2. "The whole thing is a political ploy by the Democrats"
3. "I'm SHOCKED, SHOCKED, to find mistakes made by my subordinates"
4. "I am an alcoholic. I will be entering rehab immediately, so I have no
time for questions. I'm deeply sorry for my friends and family - the real
victims in this partisan witchunt."
5. "Can I please serve my time at Eglin Federal Penitentiary?"

And as a follow-up, the ten worst congressmen.