Isengard.Gov's Urgent Political Questions

Left: John McCain, (R) encounters Sen. Larry Craig in the US Senate Men's Room.

1. Could a young woman governor of Alaska learn and grow in office, like a ficus plant?

Left: John McCain, (R) recalls having left the oven on at house #6 in Tempe, AZ.

2. Can a conservative military white Republican really beat a liberal African American Democrat in a state like North Carolina?

Left: Sen John McCain, (R) -Arizona, watches a pack of wild hogs gruesomely devour the corpse of campaign advisor Phil Graham.

3. Can George W. Bush beat Tanya Harding's disapproval rating?

Left: Sen John McCain, (R) -Arizona, views a Windows default screensaver.

4. Will conservative Congressional Republicans change their core principles to help out the needy business community?

Above: Sen John McCain, (R) -Arizona, is informed that due to a paperwork oversight, he really did select Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska as Vice-President of the United States, not Vice-President of Alaskans for McCain.

5. Surrounded by the U.S. and Russian navies, are the dreaded Somali sea-pirates going to release the ship, tanks, guns, and hostages?

Above: Sen John McCain, (R) -Arizona, accidently wanders into "Congress, " the Washington DC version of New York's famous "Scores."

6. Are the dreaded Somali sea-pirates the only ones stopping illegal international arms shipments?

Above: Sen John McCain, (R) -Arizona, encounters Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska after accidently walking into the U.S. Senate Women's Restroom.

7. It must be a bit tense in there. How are the dreaded sea-pirates getting along with each other?

Above: Sen John McCain, (R) -Arizona, discovers Cindy McCain cooing with John Edwards at a DC cocktail party.

8. Are the dreaded sea-pirates available for weddings and bar-mitzvahs?

Above: Sen John McCain, (R) -Arizona, burps.

9. Is George Bush sad?

Above: Sen John McCain, (R) -Arizona, is reminded that he has a teenage daughter.

10. How many uncomfortable silences are happening right now inside Sarah Palin's head?

Above: Sen John McCain's laser-controlled debate assitance computer control system catastrophically malfunctions.