And Now Your Latest Book's Back Jacket Flap Bio Blurb

For Dr. X's Latest Work, Capital Swap

Among the best-known celebrity ontological positivists on the world talk-show circuit, three time ASP world surfing champion Dr. X wowed the world in 1989 with his publication in the journal Chemical Physics describing "Tepid Fusion." While the technology did not bear out, the mathematics were later used by unscrupulous Ukrainian monks to create a remarkably creative range of financial products, sold under the trade name "Solid Mortgages." Dr. X's exploits running guns, salt and investment capital between Chad and Fiji lead to both a fascinating New York Times series and the famous Senate hearings. His many works include papers on musiconomics, the infamous New Yorker piece "Urkel Agonisties," bipolar ostrich farming, potato physics and the play Wittgenstein on Smack, which won a Tony for Most Enlightening Musical.

Capital Swap is his first historical romance novel, called by Kirkus Reviews "The most deft combination of derivative analysis, rich Malthusian characterization and bodice-busting cleavage action we've ever seen." He lives in the Bay Area in the Mies Van Der Rohe home known as "The Gray Cube, " the famously rigorous cube of slightly-grayed glass, and nothing else, with his wife and children, who also wear slightly-grayed, square fiberglass clothes at all times.

He also wrote the ubiquitous introductory textbook for Business majors, "Take in Money Good, Spend Too Much Money Bad," available, now on sale, for $783.99 everywhere where fine textbooks, cases of Red Bull, and Axe personal care products are sold.

For the Viceroy's Latest Work, Situation: Understated!

The Viceroy is a world-renowned author best known for his Novel "Dr. Neutrino in Love" and a poetry collection, "Down the Stairs With Apple Cobbler Did I Trip." An accomplished musician who directed the Vienna Sousaphone and Glockenspiel Trance Orchestra in the early 2000s, he holds world records for Atomic Wedgies and Most Sanskrit Shipping Manifests translated in a 24 hour period. He is also beloved for breeding the pot-bellied elk, a charming addition to any home.

His 53 Books include the "Situation: Space Murder!" series with the irascible alien Police Lieutenant Jon Spencer-8Q97!x!*, O.B.E., and non-fiction works from "The Eight Thai Brides of Karl Rove" to "The Big Book of Unusual Carpet Stains." He is happily married and lives on a private, uncharted artificial island off the Olympic Pennisula, where he raises his dog, Kenai, and breeds ever-smaller elk.