Angst-Joken! Within the Unfunny Joke Lurks The Hilarious Despair

As read by Werner Herzog.


There is a Sale at Nordstrom's on Alienation.  A very old Russian man, looking a little disoriented, is buying some new shoes. The saleswoman is a young blond with full breasts and a very low cut sweater, and kindly bends down to help the old fellow change his socks. "Vladmir, Dimitri!, I haven't seen you in years!," he exclaims. " But what happened to your beards?" Offended, the girl walks off in a huff.
     The old man, with a slight smile on his face, waits patiently for his friends and the beautiful girl with the big tits to come back, looking with a hopeful expression at the passing shoppers until the lights are turned off and the store closes, and he is escorted to the street by security.

Fantastic Land Wars in Asia. Napoleon, Alexander the Great and Ghenghis Khan are arguing over who the greatest military leader was, when Bob Dylan comes in, pulls out his guitar and sings Blowin' in the Wind. Just as he puts his mouth on the harmonica,  the great military leaders put their differences and considerable egos, and get up and stab him where he stands.
     But as Bob Dylan dies, the harmonica bleating out his last breath in D minor,  they stand uncertainly, staring at the blood on their hands, facing a shocked and increasingly belligerent audience of several hundred. There was a moment of self-aggrandizing catharsis, and now it has transmuted horribly into a very mundane act of murder. They watch as the crowd, armed with sticks, chairs, and small black boxes, approaches. Napoleon is the first to fall victim to an anonymous Taser.

line15=recycleemotionalstate. Four robots get up at 3AM to go fishing for bass, which they are programmed to not find boring. 

Hope on Pope.  The Pope is touring South Dakota, and stops at a local joint to have a bacon cheeseburger, when a cowboy and a robot walk into the same little diner.  He recognizes them from an embarrassing  previous joke, and tries to hide his face with his hand.  To his great relief, they walk on by, although he is fairly sure they recognized his pope hat and are ignoring him too. He feels a little bit sad- although the robot could be unpleasant, he sort of liked the cowboy.  However, when he turns around, a huge Grizzly Bear sits across from him in the booth, eating the Pope's excellent bacon cheeseburger.  The Pope and Bear stare at each other now, sizing each other up, playing a dangerous contest at which there can only be one winner.  Here is Nature's cold,  mad game of hunger and territory, at which the penalty for failure is death.