Unicorn Vengeance!

A compelling claim for the worst published sentence in English.

Other Gems From Unicorn Vengeance at "Studies in Crap":

Step One: Find an old-timey synonym for pants:

"Her tiny fingers caressed him there and he thought he might burst his chausses."

That's from the first, not-quite-completed sex scene in Unicorn Vengeance, a goofy and ambitious Harlequin that at first seems most notable for its failure to include any unicorns or vengeance.

And from the second sex scene:

"The feel of her tongue in his ear was enough to send Wolfram bursting from his chausses."

And just a page and a half later:

"Her loose chemise followed suit with lighting speed, and the sight of her creamy flesh was enough to make him burst his chausses."

From this we can conclude that if you ever go back in time to the France of 1307 -- the book's setting -- you certainly won't go broke in the field of chausses repair.

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