Movie screenplays edited for realism

In his review of the just-released remake of Footloose, Roger Ebert points out that the premise of the film is unrealistic:

Was there then, or is there now, a town in Tennessee or any other state in which the city council has passed a law against "dancing in public"?

A valid, thought-provoking point.

One of my favorite films is Fight Club, even though not every plot point is grounded in the sort of realism I demand from movies. Here is my edit of the screenplay, adjusted for realism.

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

Jack, eyes puffy, face pale, sits before the Doctor,
who studies him with bemusement.

DOCTOR
No, you can't die of insomnia.


JACK
Maybe I already died.  Look at my face.


DOCTOR
You need to lighten up.


JACK
Can you give me something?


DOCTOR
Okay... (writes) here's a prescription for Ambien.


JACK
Thanks!


FADE OUT


*THE END*