March 15, 2012

To the barricades!

Kate Upton banned in America.

Has it really come to this?  Now faceless Corporate Theocrat Oligarchs are denying citizens' right to look at Kate Upton, while allowing foreigners complete and unfettered visual access to this national treasure?  Now our entertainment choices are censored by shadowy Boob Panels?  The nation that once proudly broadcast Suzanne Somers and Jennifer Aniston to a grateful populace is now in grave danger of losing its pokie pre-eminence!

It is an outrage, sir, a travesty, a blot on our collective escutcheon.  It will not stand.

I need hardly add:  Of course you realize...this means war.


Blogger Author said...

While Kate Upton is correct, I don't agree that Jennifer Aniston or Suzanne Sommers were correct.

March 15, 2012 at 10:16 PM  
Blogger The Other Front said...

I think - and I am serious about this - that The Powers don't like Kate Upton. Somers and Aniston, with their unique mixtures of cleavage and emotional torture, reminded people that life was bad, and there were people who were too good for them, and they should just accept it.

Who knows what she'll turn out to be, but right now Kate's just a hot, fun girl - the embodiment of a carefree (innocent would be going too far) lifestyle that makes people wonder why the fuck they're putting up with that dick Sanders in Accounting when they could be driving a convertible around Malibu or Ft. Lauderdale.

And the more people think like that, the worse for the oligarchs, and the better for America. In one sentence, she doesn't validate or glorify the dreams of the rich and powerful.

She is serious trouble for them. Some of them know it, and hate her for it.

More popcorn, please.

March 16, 2012 at 11:39 AM  

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