It's going to be a very big game
On Sunday, December 23rd, there will be a football game played in Seattle, Washington. These late season games are not all not meaningful, except...
- The game is one of two shots the Seahawks, one of the best teams in the League, have to reach the playoffs.
- Since Harbaugh rubbed his face in it, Pete Carroll appears to have cultivated a bit of his own killer instinct, made all the more endearing by his earnest apologies afterward.
- The Seahawks have the best rookie quarterback in the division that did not beat the Patriots on their home field this week.
- The 49ers have the best NFL defense that doesn't feature psychotic cyborg cornerbacks from the future.
- The 49ers are bound to be confident after beating the Patriots in Foxborough in December, an accomplishment as difficult and elusive as the discovery of the Higgs boson.
- The Seahawks are bound to be confident after winning their last two games 58-0 and 50-17.
I am going to go out on a limb and say is a largish game, maybe even a big game.
Who am I kidding, of course it's a big game. It's a HUGE game. It's make-or-break for two teams that have won nothing, and have everything to prove, to themselves, to one another, and to a sports media elite that thinks the western frontier of the United States of America is the Mississippi River.
How big is this game? It's going to make Roadhouse look like This Old House. It's going to make Last Man Standing look like Last Year at Marienbad. It's going to make Alexander Nevsky look like The Big Lebowski. It's going to make Victory at Sea look like the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.
It's going to be a Big Game!
posted by The Other Front at 1:14 PM
9 Comments:
It's gonna make Stalingrad look like Second Grade!
Why don't you come up here and watch it with us? (FSL will be here...)
It's going to make Vietnam look like The Milagro Beanfield War. It's going to make Angelina Jolie look like Dora the Explorer. It's going to make the late Notorious B.I.G. look like the late Extremely W.E.E. . It's going to make Manhattan look like a man in a hat with a tan. It's going to make the Battle in Seattle look like a parking dispute in Tukwilla. It's going to make San Francisco Bay look like a break-up puddle in Muldoon. It's going to make...
I can go on like this all day, you realize..
Please do! I view this construction as the highest development of the rhetorical arts.
My favorite in this vein, saved only for the most exceptional occasions:
It's going to make Deliverance look like Riverdance.
It's going to make Terminator 2 look like Police Academy 3.
It's going to make Cross of Iron look like Crossroads. (Lest we forget.)
It's going to make Straw Dogs look like Green Acres.
It's going to make Hard Boiled look like lightly poached with a sprig of parsley served with free trade coffee with non-dairy creamer.
It's going to make I Spit on Your Grave look like Four Weddings and a Funeral.
It is going to be, I assure you, a big game.
I'm sorry, I can't seem to get that one right:
It's going to make Hard Boiled look like lightly poached with a sprig of parsley served with free trade coffee, Splenda, and non-dairy creamer.
Thank you.
It's going to make MMA look like the WNBA. That's what a big game it is. It's going to make Seal Team 6 look like Animaniacs. That's how big it's going to be.
I think Straw Dogs/Green Acres is my new favorite.
It's going to make the Meta-verse looking like the universe.
It's going to make The Wild Bunch look like Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
It's going to make Cannibal Holocaust look like Can-Can.
It's going to make NML Cygni look like OGLE-TR-122b.
That's how big it's going to be.
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