October 13, 2013

The Angst-Joken: Now Depressing Facebook.

BAM-Os! Shoes for Cool Kids

A lady at Goldman-Sachs is at work one day, drinking her half-caff mocha. She analyzes the children's shoe market in a small overseas country: if thousands of adult workers could be fired and replaced with children, return on investment would increase by 1.7%, generating significant added market value in advance of a possible public offering. Children could make luxury shoes for - haha! how ironic!- the  children at the top 5% of the market, and she has a good chuckle at her little joke.  All that has to be done is bribe a few officials, weaken child labor laws, exploit religious bigotry to de-fund public education, ban trade unions, maybe scare a few activists, and make a stylish campaign emphasizing cutting edge design and how they use greener, recycled materials.

Later, on her way back to a lower Manhattan Starbucks, she's run over by a school bus. This story has a happy ending, as thousands of jobs making shoes in a sweat shop in Asia were saved.


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