A little Wodehouse for a dreary January*

"Did you ever hear of a Captain Walkinshaw?"

"No."

"Captain J.G. Walkinshaw? Dark man with an eyeglass. Used to play the saxophone."

"No."

"Ah, I thought you might have met him. He trifled with the affections of my niece, Hester. I horsewhipped him on the steps of the Drones Club.  Is the name Blenkinsop-Bustard familiar to you?"

"No."

"Rupert Blenkinsop-Bustard trifled with the affections of my niece Gertrude. He was one of the Somersetshire Blenkinsop-Bustards. Wore a fair moustache and kept pigeons. I horsewhipped him on the steps of the Junior Bird-Fanciers. By the way, Mr. Mulliner, what is your club?"

"The United Jade-Collectors," quavered Osbert.

"Has it steps?"

"I – I believe so."

"Good. Good."  A dreamy look came into the General's eyes.


- From The Ordeal of Osbert Mulliner 


* According to Google, this is the first time the word 'horsewhipped' has appeared on Eisengeiste.  Late as the hour might be, I am at least relieved to have corrected this regrettable omission.