HELL, I CAN GET THE SAME THING FOR $75 ON SOUTHWEST

Why didn't you just go to Vegas? Note the 3/4 scale model of the Arc du Triomphe. The Eiffel Tower model is sort lame, just 1/2 scale... Don't think of it as a tacky imitation, think of it as a postmodern meditation on the ambiguity of place. To really complete the effect, you should use all your Paris time to go to Euro Disney and celebrate Brazil's National Day. Best wishes, I'm off to the Italian grocery with my German-Chinese son...