ALERT! PRIORITY SEA SAFETY INFORMATION FROM FIRST SEA LORD

Were you aware that over 200 supertankers and large container ships over 200 meters in length have sunk in the last 20 years due to monstrous huge radically unsurfable waves 10 stories high? It is imperative to all in the organization that we take these simple steps to avoid huge 90 foot waves:

1) Stay well inland, such as Oklahoma.
2) If 1 is not possible, and sea travel is a must, use of a nuclear submarine operating at depths below 1000 feet is recommended.
3) Take the presence of thousands of 40 foot waves as a sign that bad weather is approaching.
4) Rather than using mere 300 meter supertankers, try using the new 3000 meter garagantutankers.
5) When your container ship turns turtle, try gluing the containers of bean bags together as a life raft.

I hope you will join me in extra vigilance, and in enjoying another year of safety at sea.

By Order of the First Sea Lord