What I Learned From Talk Like A Pirate Day
Of course, the social situations where you can talk like a pirate are limited, but I did find the perfect situation: IN TRAFFIC. Cursing like a pirate cheers you up rather than further angers you.
CURSE THAT BARNACLE-CRUSTED ROTTEN SLAB-SIDED TUB OF A MINIVAN FOR HEAVING TO!! I'LL FIX THE LOT OF THOSE BISCUIT-MAGGOTS TWIXT THE KEEL AND SHOALING WATER, WITH CRABS FOR MATES!
BLAST THOSE POX-FACED SCOW SLAVES LARKING ABOUT IN THAT 5 TON BILGE-BARGE!! THEY'RE ON SHORT PATH OVER A LONG SEA, IF THEY BE RIGHT A-JUDGED.
ZOUNDS!! THAT BE TOO CLOSE FOR AN OLD' SALT! TOTE ME A TOT, LASS.
posted by JAB at 11:56 AM
3 Comments:
Three cheers for the First Sea Lord!
HIP, HIP, HUZZAH!
HIP, HIP, HUZZAH!
HIP, HIP, HUZZAH!
I am a-feared grateful me-hearties for yer kindness.
I had a further thought. If the target of your piratical cursing actually hears you - there is a greater likelyhood of an eventual behavior change. How defensive can you get when cursed as a "Lubber-limbed mangy Sea Dog with Anemonies for Brains"? You would either be confused or marginally delighted, thus prompting, I trust, a more reflective train of thought, and you would likely never forget the day an angry stranger called you "A Yellow-Backed Spineless Urchin!"
There is clearly something here - and this morning I had forgotten the perfect use for this: when the Fremont Bridge raises for a mulitmillion personal Bermuda-rigged yacht to pass , thus putting a sorry 6 minute delay on your barnacle encrusted butt. (We'll have the discussion about Seattle requiring a shorter gaff-rig for Eastside bazillionaires later.) So I left the bridge mildly annoyed, when I could have said:
"NEVER I all my life have I seen a May parade of fancy dans on such an ill-starred dandy scow as that point-nosed unweatherly-looking pearl box! Are ye late to sip yer milk-n-toast with Queen Mary, ye soggy lot of god-forsaken Poppin-Jays?"
How much better the day would begin.
That beats what I used to yell at them: "DON'T COME BACK!"
Post a Comment
<< Home