Hey, Look at that Flag

NYT reports a concerted effort to reteach America the national anthem, sponsored by Jeep. (Sigh.)

Which occassions my mention of a longtime curiosity: the Star-Spangled banner is an extremely long, long, question, and a rather nerdy one at that, just the sort of thing written by a lawyer in a war zone. Imagine the guy standing next to him at Fort McHenry in this moment of national crisis:

Oh, say can you see (yes?) by the dawn's early light , (that I can see ) what so proudly we hailed (yes, we did) at the twilight's last gleaming, (sigh) whose broad stripes and bright stars ( I see it) through the perilous fight (I get the picture) ...o'er the ramparts (the ones you were hiding behind, asshole?) we watched, (you were the one who pointed out I was there) were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets's red glare (Oh, here we go...) gave proof, through the night, (and a long one it was with you yammering on) that our flag was still there. (I believe we've established that.) Oh Say Does that Star-Spangled (You're going to be star-spangled in a minute) Banner yet wave, o'er the land of the free, (a little too free at the moment) and the Home of the Brave? (Yes, yes it does. I couldn't help noticing it. And if you start singing another question with the same answer I'm going to..)

II.

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines in the stream

Chorus

'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

and it goes on. I propose we change it back to the original lyrics.

Ye Sons of Anacreon,

Then join hand in hand;

Preserve Unanimity,

Friendship, and Love!

'Tis yours to support

What's so happily plann'd;

You've the sanction of Gods,

And the Fiat of Jove.

While thus we agree,

Our toast let it be:

"May our Club flourish Happy,

United, and Free!

Chorus:

And long may the Sons

Of Anacreon intwine

The Myrtle of Venus

With Bacchus's Vine