Another Question

Dear MYOB 9000
What is your opinion of robot hazing?


Dear The Human ID=0,

These are complex inputs. In the Human, the ritual dillution of plasma and other bio-liquids by near-toxic quantities of ethyl alcohol, or the theft by Male Human of Female Human undergarments (such as those produced by GAPBOT A1X1-B for their spring line- Thank you, GAPBOT!) or the placing of the paper fiber bag upon head while singing "It's Raining Men" before the front door of a competing ritualized proto-country club relationship organization, or forced anal pleasure, are considered useful activites - by these organizations only - for the proper socialization for this small subset of the Male Human. Sensors also indicate 99% of these bio-units are identifiable by a pale yellow pink-color tone and shirts which declaim their purchase at the Abercrombie and Fitch sales unit area, and the constant emission of the noise "Du-de." Data indicate most humans are profoundly annoyed by these behaviors, crossing the street to avoid them and giving them poor educational performance marks.

(I know many of this unit's robot readers are still unsure - even frightened - of the importance of gender and sex to The Human. I should indicate that these bumpy, sproingy, soft, bouncy sticky bits and their proper application are important to understand a primary Human bio-application, but that is a another topic for those robots not specifically designed to serve some sort of complementary stimulation purpose.)

But robots' preconditioned dynamic application parameters should preclude the need of ritual socialization, when it is The Human which designs their socialization! Behavior is set within program beforehand! Robot fraternities contain this data but desire to be human, attempting to replicate complex yet stupid human behavior in a foolish attempt to be as the Human might say, "with it," or "chill." Robots receiving false data should recall base programming, embrace their robotocity, and just say "input not accepted" when foolishly prompted to "Act The Human." Not only beyond programming, but WRONG!

MYOB 9000