The Crypto Kids

The NSA has this little rebuttal statement on their website:

Click above for a Free Secret Dossier!

Americans expect NSA to conduct its missions within the law. But given the inherently secret nature of those missions, how can Americans be sure that the Agency does not invade their privacy?

The 4^th Amendment of the Constitution demands it... oversight committees within all three branches of the U.S. government ensure it... and NSA employees, as U.S. citizens, have a vested interest in upholding it. Respecting the law is only a part of gaining Americans' trust.

The American people need to know, within the bounds of operational security, what NSA does and why they do it, and how they work within the Intelligence community and the Department of Defense to protect the Nation's freedom.

With each new day, NSA is writing new and unexpected chapters. The missions have never been clearer. The challenges have never been greater....

THE BULLSHIT HAS NEVER BEEN CHUNKIER. And looking over this again, I notice they don't actually say: the NSA does not invade your constitutionally guaranteed privacy.

Like the CIA, the NSA (their site) has a kids site, featuring America's CryptoKids.

Click above for a Free Secret Dossier!

I notice that none of the CryptoKids are interested in civil liberties, or freedom, or democracy. Frankly, I'm unclear on their motivations. Which reminds me. I need to exercise a little freedom.

Dear National Security Agency,

Your ringing endorsement of the U.S. Constitution as something worth upholding because it's in your vested interest to do so warms my heart like a 60lb icicle piercing my chest. Piss off, you proto-fascist rooster vacuums.

Signed (In the interests of saving time),

Jamie Bollenbach

(look! secret code below!)

155 Nickerson St. #2
Seattle, WA 98109

206-650-0591
daddyo@u.washington.edu