Today's Tomorrows Headlines XTRA

1978 WHITE FORD PANEL VAN DRIVEN BY PLEASANT OLDER COUPLE

Mark Foley: "Kim Jong Il Made Me Gay"

Indiana Boy, Just Turned 6, Held by Federal Investigators As Instigator of A Complex Chain of Events which Resulted in Iraq Debacle

FREEDOM NOT FREE AT ALL

Adorable Kitten Adopts Abandoned Spider Baby Shortly Before Eating It

All Vegetable-Powered Robots Tiring Easily

Sight-Impaired Casino Owner Elbows Hole in $135 Million Picasso During Sale (TRUE!)

The flick of Mr Wynn's elbow left a two-inch hole on Marie-Thérèse's left forearm, with two three-inch rips spreading away from the point of impact. Mr Wynn, possibly in shock, inserted his little finger into the hole to check the damage, a procedure not recommended by art experts.

Onion Writer Struck By Curious Juxtaposition of Possible Meanings