Note to Angela:

Dear Angela,

You stole my car yesterday, and my laptop.

Fortunately, you were seen, and the Man is looking for you. You are apparently well known by now.

I am not without a certain respect for an 18-year old redhead meth fiend who steals Hondas in front of public libraries, who even the police describe as "hot," although "preppy." (Note to Steller.) But knock it off.

You were kind enough to leave my car to be found in fair condition less than a day later, sans camera, little cd player and the cassette to 1/8 stereo converter. Bad shock when you discovered I still have a tape deck. I relish your disappointment. Did you even recognize what it was?

You left your sweaters, as well as a down vest you boosted from Kavu. But you had no right to leave your Madonna and The Crow soundtrack cd in my car. This is beyond the pale. I must say that your poor taste in music was only exceeded by your taste in sweaters.

Enjoy my 4 year old laptop. I hope it explodes.

Entirely Uncharmed,

First Sea Lord