What Would You Say?

Dr. X posts this from the Key West offices of Saucer Smear:

"Fark asks, 'when we first make contact with another intelligent race, what should be our first words to them?'

"Early contenders:

• "We'd take you to our leader, but uh...
• "Umm.... sorry to have to ask this, but could you figure out a reasonable way to settle the NCAA Division I Football National Championship that actually has a chance of being implimented?
  
• "I am an Oil Ministry Official in Nigeria...
• "You wanna conquer the world, you're going to need lawyers, right?
• "All of our secrets are stored in the stomachs of our leaders.
• "Do you believe in God? No? *bonk!* (below a picture of George Carlin)
• "We can be friends if you help us kick the crap outa the Chinese.
• "It is customary for visitors to our planet to have an 'agent'.
• "Can you replicate cash?

"and my favorite so far:

• "Are you Christian or Muslim?"