John McCain Old Jokes, In Advancing Order of Implied Age

I'm not saying John McCain is old to his face; I'm yelling it in his ear.

McCain ran for president and gave up a lot of opportunities, such as writing sarcastic letters to the editor.

John McCain keeps going to the right, but his signal is still blinking left.

Support John McCain, the last living aviator of World War I.

John McCain's had trouble raising money ever since he ran out of small canvas bags with dollar signs on them.

McCain launched a biting attack on Barack Obama yesterday, but keeps calling him by the name of McCain's last presidential opponent, William Jennings Bryan.

Who knows more about how to get America out of her troubles than the same old rich white guys that caused the troubles in the first place, and their common ancestor, John McCain?

McCain has had a few scandals. He is still embarrassed about the Savings and Loan debacle, the Tea Pot Dome Scandal, the Tulip Bubble of 1637, and that time he helped Henry the Eighth with his divorce and brought about that schism with Rome.

John McCain is a strong believer in Jesus Christ. John first met him when he was a carpenter and had some work done on the house.

John McCain is serious about Global Warming because he remembers what happened when the glaciers retreated from Arizona the first time.