August 29, 2008

Sarah Palin Makes Dan Qualye Look Like Henry Kissenger

Left: Chippie of the Last Frontier, Gov. Sarah Palin, in 1984, with the look that says "Is it really true you can't get pregnant the first time?"


I'm sure that many of our non Alaska readers are bewildered by McCain's choice of Alaska governor Sarah Palin for Vice President of the United States. Yes, these United States.

Here's what you need to know:

1) Sarah Palin has faced the utterly corrupt Republican establishment in Alaska and severely nanny-nanny boo-booed them. Unless they're been convicted, they are however, all still there.

2) Sarah Palin is 44, has no international experience of any kind, or any record of ever having though about South Ossetia, or France for that matter, but she is able to spell the phrase "foreign relations."

3) A fairly attractive woman, she was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, after serving on it's city council, where she helped keep it among the ugliest towns in America. She was able to make it slightly less ugly by shopping at Nordstrom's.

4.) She was elected by basically the same people that re-elected Senator Stevens.

5) She is all for the U.S. occupation of your uterus, if you have one.

A pleasant person, Gov. Palin is utterly, wholly, shockingly unqualified to be President of the United States. Better for us, she gives us ample opportunity to make endemic corruption of politics by Big Oil the topic of the election; because in order to explain why she got anywhere, you have to go through a long explanation of how Big Oil owns the Republican party, how indictments are falling like snowflakes, how the Republican party sold out Alaska and it's people to the Petrodictators again and again and again, and how, guess what, they've been doing that to us.

Clinton supporters should be deeply offended by John McCain's apparent belief that Palin is some kind of equivalent who would attract their vote. Palin is literally Miss Congeniality, whose primary accomplishment was annoying the people in her party who are yet indicted by not being one of them. Hillary Clinton is a national figure of outstanding skill and accomplishment, the headlights to Sarah Palin's deer.

At one stroke it eviscerates their experience argument against Obama. In the likely event of John McCain's demise, he proposes that we turn the nation over to a the political equivalent of a pet hamster. And suddenly, Obama-Biden is the indisputable choice for grown-ups.

The selection of Sarah Palin speaks to McCain's desperation and frankly bad judgment. It's such a silly move I'm waiting for the other clown shoe to drop.

5 Comments:

Blogger popmonkey said...

despite the deep debate of real issues in 2004 the final votes were rallied around gay marriage. frankly a politically brilliant manuever by rove and co just before the election. there was a mobilization of fundamentalists who turned the tide.

i guarantee that in 2008 the final, pre nov 4 mccain strategy will make sure we are reminded that obama is really black and that clinton got dejected by chauvinists.

palin's only purpose in life is to be the net during the last week of the election cycle to catch those votes.

to me this will be a defining moment in american history because it will finally show, once and for all, just how racist this country is.

because at this point, there's no way in hell that the GOP ticket could win in any other way.

August 29, 2008 at 11:56 AM  
Blogger VMM said...

I really think that if John McCain thinks picking her will help him with women, he has an astoundingly low view of women.

August 29, 2008 at 1:19 PM  
Blogger The Front said...

You guys are way ahead of me. I would only add this:

Q: Why is he trying to punch Ali's elbow?
A: Because every time he tries to punch Ali in the face, Ali hits him in the stomach. And every time he tries to punch Ali in the stomach, Ali punches him in the face.

So the elbow seems like the logical strategy...

August 29, 2008 at 1:39 PM  
Blogger The Front said...

Dickerson from Slate offers this comment in his reaction piece:

Several months ago, when my colleagues and I tried to reverse-engineer a female vice-presidential pick for McCain—someone who would have executive credentials and be pro-life—Palin was the only obvious choice among politicians.

Palin is famously pro-life and will only solidify McCain's hold on his base. But Palin also helps McCain make a run at those moderate voters for whom McCain's conservatism (and particularly his pro-life views) is not a deal breaker. As one McCain aide put it: "We either get Hillary's voters and we win, or we don't. It's not a mystery."

August 29, 2008 at 1:51 PM  
Blogger VMM said...

"Sarah Palin: you are no Hillary Clinton."

August 29, 2008 at 2:36 PM  

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