Thank God She Didn't Pardon a Moose

I'm trying hard, real hard, not to mention that Last Frontier Chippie with delusions of grandeur, but a friend, a genuine Alaska woman who fishes for sharks, guides wilderness tours, and hangs out with poets, punks, and Planned Parenthood, went and did this:

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I am at some pains to point out that the wonderful Ms. Wilcox adopted the screechy accent solely for this vidbit.