Well take some then

"The president pleaded for urgent action..."

Meanwhile, here's an article on the ten inaugural balls he attended, with notes on how hot his wife looked and a picture of Mariah Carey singing her heart out.

Look you clowns, it's either Pearl Harbor or it's not. If it's not, stop scaring the crap out of everyone. If it is, maybe you should go to your fucking office and do some work.