Today's Urgent Headlines Today for May 8th, 2010

BP Spokesman Says Over 99 percent of the Gulf of Mexico is Still Seawater

Collapse of Newspaper Business Alarming Nations' Parakeets

Coughing Supreme Court Justice Upholds Lozenge v. New Hampshire

"Chickens Be Jackin' My Style," Complains Madeline Albright

Governor of Virgina Declares May "Wermacht History Month"

Rep. John Boehner Is Seen at American Enterprise Institute Function Wearing Discrete Glitter

View of Lithe, French-looking Blond Blocked by Display Case Full of Stainless Steel Latte Cups

Delays in Reading Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire Reported

Adorable Kittens Do Not Know the Power of the Adorable Side

In TODAY'S URGENT SCIENCE: As Flooded Country Music Mecca Nashville Dries Out, Abandoned Musical Scales Shrink: "A" is now "A minor diminished 7th."