What did we learn today?

I like to ask my sons that question. We're a learning animal, designed by our Creator for brainpower and smartness. And so it pains me to admit that most days we don't come up with much.

"I learned not to drive a car until its automatic transmission seizes up on a hill in San Francisco," I might say. Or my son might say "I learned not to get caught hitting Bobby Wilkins." Or my other son might say "I learned my teacher doesn't understand why I care about Shakespeare."

This little rhetorical exercise has made me realize, more clearly than ever, how few of my actions can be attributed to rational analysis, and how many can be attributed (charitably) to personality type or (less charitably) to personality disorder. It is hard to shake the sense that despite half a century in this simulation, I'm the same dopey monkey I was to begin with.

But today, I do think I have learned something, a clear principle for living that I can explain to my children and share with generations down through the ages:

Don't tweet your weener.