Kareem is a ninny...and in this case correct

Really? All this other stuff has been going on for years and this ridiculous conversation with his girlfriend is what puts you over the edge? That's the smoking gun?

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Its...a miracle!

I'm pretty sure that today is the best day in the history of the National Watermelon Promotion Board.

Wait, Republicans get Obamacare?

"It’s really wrong that people are making it into a political thing. To me, it is a life-and-death thing."

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*Makes popcorn*

#ruinamoviequote

Perfect for home or office

Society 6 is quite addictive, but there is one particular motif I find myself dwelling on...the Shield logo.  This post is to help me clarify which of these many wonderful items I most want.  There are so many possibilities:

• As CEO you wish to set a tone of quiet excellence.  Wearing a simple Shield logo jacket on company outings will send the right message, to wit, that bottom quintile performers will be liquidated.
• Keeping track of stray kids?  These nifty Shield logo t-shirts (available in a variety of colors) will help them stand out - menacingly - from the crowd.
• Neighbors coming over, and want to make the right impression?  A simple Shield throw pillow lets them know which side you're on.
• Everyone enjoys shopping, but how can you signal that you're more than a run-of-the-mill consumer?  The Shield logo tote bag has you covered.
• And every school with a study hall should equip it with this clock, which I picture on a white wall in a room with white desks and white chairs.  Unfortunately, the description fails to note whether it ticks ominously.  Just looking at it, I'd guess...yes.
• And this is the perfect baby shower gift, especially for girls.

Decisions, decisions.

Had a great crew cut, too

Who was quarterback of the Dolphins in their undefeated season?
Who led the Baltimore Colts to the 1968 Super Bowl?

Same guy.

Farewell, Earl Morrall.

Me too

Every time I look logarithms up and figure out what they are, that knowledge immediately sprays out the other side of my head like a gunshot wound.

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An embarrassment of riches today

Brendan Smith with a Mister Furious-esque fail against Zdeno Chara.  Positive Bruin karma, however: Mike Milbury was once on the receiving end of one of these from Larry Robinson. 

Chara is a scary dude.

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I had not thought Vonn capable of this

Just continuing the sports theme, Tiger Woods' life is now an actual PG Wodehouse story, specifically this one.

Briefing on Terrelle Pryor

For the Seattle fans, news report here.  This makes Wilson the 3rd-highest paid QB on the roster, after Pryor and Tarvaris "Moneybags" Jackson.

I like Pryor, mainly because of this.

Just putting this out there, but maybe Pryor could play some other position where running skills are really helpful?

"It's heading for third!"

This clip fully illustrates everything that is right with baseball.

Tolkien and the OED

I will probably never finish my note on Tolkien, because every time I try to research I run across interesting facts like this...

Google world domination plan now obvious - too late - to all

An open source graffiti drone and the transformative effect machines might have on art http://t.co/Rc3d1D9DV1 pic.twitter.com/8erBYX4E7e

— WIRED (@WIRED) April 20, 2014

The horror

"It's interesting — perhaps even humorous — to note that "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" was not inspired by fears of miscegenation, but by Lovecraft's own discovery that his great-grandmother was... Welsh."

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Preach it

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Cool story, bro

We had a female blue-bellied roller with really good genes, and we were trying to maintain the species. Her family hadn't been bred a lot, so she'd have been good for genetic diversity. They brought her into this nice big aviary with a male, and she went right for him and beat the tar out of him. Pecking, wing slapping, ramming ... and not like the sexy kind of pecking and wing slapping you remember from all those bird pornos...

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Greetings from Pismo Beach

Wikipedia offers two interesting tidbits:

• The name Pismo comes from the Chumash language word for tar, Pismu' ,[5] which was gathered from tar springs in Price Canyon near Pismo Beach. The tar was a valuable product which the Chumash Indians used to caulk their seagoing canoes, called tomol, which traveled along the coast and out to the Channel Islands.

• In the 1969 TV movie Dragnet 1966, Bill Gannon retires to Pismo Beach due to poor health. After eight months and three weeks of eating Pismo Beach clam chowder, Bill's health returns, his teeth stop falling out and he is able to be reinstated with the LAPD. Explaining to Joe Friday the reason for his restored health he states, "The clams, Joe. The clams."

Pismo Beach also figures prominently in this epistle from the Apostle Chuck, which in seven minutes gets more done on the topic of greed than von Stroheim did in 462:

 
Bugs Bunny - Ali Baba bunny.avi by tetleymoon

8^)

The Most of Tom Lehrer (you're likely to get)

“Things I once thought were funny are scary now,” he told People magazine in 1982. “I often feel like a resident of Pompeii who has been asked for some humorous comments on lava.”

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Surprisingly good mini doc on Operation Cobra

Who is the Home Run King?

A completely rational assessment appears here.

Selig is always wrong, and I totally have already proved that here.

Let me reiterate, for emphasis:  Peed.  In.  The.  Shower.  And the Hall of Fame welcomes him with open arms.

There is no justice.

War on the West Coast

NBA leaders in plus minus, season-to-date:

1. Blake Griffin, LAC - 553
2. Stephen Curry, GS - 548
3. Andre Iguodala, GS - 541
4. Chris Paul, LAC - 507
5. Klay Thompson, GS - 495
6. DeAndre Jordan, LAC - 489
7. Durant, OKC ... etc.

Kale and qinoa fuck you up

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Dr. Melik: This morning for breakfast he requested something called "wheat germ, organic honey and tiger's milk." 

Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties. 

Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or... hot fudge? 

Dr. Aragon: Those were thought to be unhealthy... precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true. 

Dr. Melik: Incredible.

We have a winner

If we're ruled by an elite secret cabal they really stuck at it.

— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) April 9, 2014

Silly humans with their feelings

Ex CIA boss criticizes Feinstein for being motivated by "emotional feeling."  

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Places we're going on our big vacation

Lots of annoying questions from family about places we're going to visit on our upcoming road trip to Southern California.  Key attractions described so far:

• The Lint Museum
• Pancake syrup factory
• Captain Sludgy's Squid Shack
• Academy of Amortization Science
• YarnWorld

Suggestions welcome...

Jungian subconscious modifies my views on Dan Snyder

At first I thought it was just a hilarious comparison. Then I began examining the two images more closely and got a little weirded out. I went to the archives to pull up the big, high-res version of the toon (below, double-click to enlarge) and compared it to the photo. I immediately noticed the face paint, the writing on the shirt, the similar headdresses, and the nearly identical right hand position of the mascot-lovin' dude. When I noticed the nearly identical pose of the Native protester in the photo and in my cartoon, I started tripping out.

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Well there's your problem

[T[he very real conflict between what’s good for oligarchs and what’s good for the economy is, indirectly, having a powerful effect in distorting the debate.

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But Puppies!

"Banks are the puppy mills of Capital." - My barista, Jeff, who just turned down an offer to go back to work at the bank.

I'm trying to read a book about Beethoven that seems to require a thorough knowledge of Hegel. Eh, I'll just stay stupid, thanks.

— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) April 5, 2014

Hey Nader voters...can you tell the difference NOW? http://t.co/6aU0igxYb7

— TheOtherFront (@TheOtherFront) April 3, 2014