Killed at the Diner

Here is a full list of Kojak episode titles. I don't know who came up with these, but I think they were going for a "tough" vibe, at least at first.  I include a few annotations, color-coded for your convenience - it's interesting to see the strong start, the battle for the show's soul, and then the tragic descent into effeminate incoherence:

• "Siege of Terror" - Excellent
• "Web of Death" - Well done
• "One for the Morgue" - Very good
• "Knockover" - Eh
• "Girl in the River" - That's the old fastball
• "Requiem for a Cop" - Every show has that one
• "The Corrupter" - Nah, too abstract
• "Dark Sunday" - A little better
• "Conspiracy of Fear" - Now you're talking
• "Cop in a Cage" - Tell me more!
• "Marker to a Dead Bookie" - Good
• "Last Rites for a Dead Priest" - Not tough enough
• "Death Is Not a Passing Grade" - Better
• "Die Before They Wake" - Death is always good
• "Deliver Us Some Evil" - Excellent
• "Eighteen Hours of Fear" - Now you're back on form
• "Before the Devil Knows" - Sidney Lumet liked it
• "Dead on His Feet" - Death is good
• "Down a Long and Lonely River" - What are you fucking Marlowe?!  I NEED A TITLE!
•  "Mojo" - Yeah
• "Therapy in Dynamite" - Extra snacks for you
• "The Only Way Out" - Good, good
• "The Chinatown Murders: Part 1" - A little descriptive, but why not
• "The Chinatown Murders: Part 2" - A little descriptive, but why not
• "Hush Now, Don't You Die" - Pretty good FOR A CHARLIE'S ANGELS EPISODE.  C'mon.
• "A Very Deadly Game" - Ok
• "Wall Street Gunslinger" - You're out of your element.
• "Slay Ride" - You go to Harvard?
• "Nursemaid" - We're losing it here people.
• "You Can't Tell a Hurt Man How to Holler" - What's this a minstrel show?
• "The Best Judge Money Can Buy" - Well, better than we've been having.
• "A Souvenir from Atlantic City" - What...?  I got your souvenir right here, a pink slip!
• "A Killing in the Second House" - That's the stuff.
• "The Best War in Town" - Much better.
• "Cross Your Heart and Hope to Die" - Yes
• "The Betrayal" - Ok, betrayal is good.
• "Loser Takes All" - Huh, eh why not.
• "Close Cover Before Killing" - Solid.
• "Acts of Desperate Men" - Yes, yes.
• "Queen of the Gypsies" - No, no!
• "Night of the Piraeus" - Night I killed a screenwriter with a piano wire.
• "Elegy in an Asphalt Graveyard" - YES [firstbump]
• "The Goodluck Bomber" - Yeah, yeah, good.
• "Unwanted Partners" - Oh the Murphy Brown very special episode?
• "Two-Four-Six for Two Hundred" - I was told there would be no math.
• "The Trade-Off" - Ew.
• "I Want to Report a Dream" - I dreamed a pansy was working for me.
• "A Question of Answers: Part 1" - Arg.
• "A Question of Answers: Part 2" - Arg, Part 2.
• "My Brother, My Enemy" - Average
• "Sweeter Than Life" - Yeah, ok, I kinda like that
• "Be Careful What You Pray For" - What, now we're doing consumer tips?
• "Secret Snow, Deadly Snow" - Death is good.
• "Life, Liberation, and the Pursuit of Death" - Very good.
• "Out of the Frying Pan…" - Nah
• "Over the Water" - How about DEATH Over the Water?
• "The Nicest Guys on the Block" - Nah
• "No Immunity for Murder" - Good
• "A Long Way from Times Square" - Nah
• "Money Back Guarantee" - Nah
• "A House of Prayer, a Den of Thieves" - Now we're disrespecting the Church?
• "How Cruel the Frost, How Bright the Stars" - How lame the title
• "The Forgotten Room" - Oh I hope Miss Marple solves it
• "On the Edge" - Average
• "A Wind from Corsica" - I'll allow it
• "Bad Dude" - There, better
• "A Grave Too Soon" - Yes, EXCELLENT
• "The Frame" - Nah
• "Deadly Innocence" - Ok, kind of a juxtaposition thing
• "Justice Deferred" - No no no
• "Both Sides of the Law" - SHE WAS A HOOKER!
• "Birthday Party" - No
• "A Summer Madness" - Yes
• "Law Dance" - I can't even
• "Out of the Shadows" - guest starring Barnabus Collins?  Fuck shadows.  Shadows suck.
• "A Need to Know" - Mannix.
• "An Unfair Trade" - Cannon.
• "A Hair-Trigger Away" - Gad.
• "By Silence Betrayed" - The Day the Poet Died
• "A Shield for Murder: Part 1" - Ok
• "A Shield for Murder: Part 2" - OK
• "The Pride and the Princess" - FUCK NO
• "Black Thorn" - Romance novel shit
• "Where Do You Go When You Have No Place To Go?" - Who can I turn to when you DON'T FUCKING GET IT?!
• "Dead Again" - Solid.
• "The Godson" - What's a Godson?  Was he on Carson?
• "The Condemned" - Yeah, kinda morbid, ok.
• "When You Hear the Beep, Drop Dead" - That's cool.
• "I Was Happy Where I Was" - This used to be a tough show.
• "Kojak's Days: Part 1" - I'm puking here.
• "Kojak's Days: Part 2" - Worse
• "Monkey on a String" - Hey, that's ok, I like that.
• "Kiss It All Goodbye" - Yeah, that's a Kojak title.
• "Lady in the Squadroom" - Someone dropping lady pills in the coffee here?
• "Sister Maria" - Apparently so
• "Another Gypsy Queen" - Another dead screenwriter.
• "The Queen of Hearts Is Wild" - This show is so dead.
• "A Strange Kind of Love" - The dirt is hitting our face
• "Laid Off" - Is what we will be
• "Cry for the Kids" - Is what we will do
• "Once More from Birdland" - With pretty ladies dancing
• "Caper on a Quiet Street" - Now we're fucking capering
• "Letters of Death" - Yes, for the love God YES
• "Tears for All Who Love Her" - Annnd back to The After-School Specials, very nice
• "The Summer of '69: Part 1" - I can smell the honey shampoo
• "The Summer of '69: Part 2" - and the dope
• "Case Without a File" - Episode without a title
• "I Could Kill My Wife's Lawyer" - Enough with the autobiography, Sid
• "Justice for All" - It's the fucking Pledge of Allegiance.  Maybe Death for All?
• "Mouse" - Rat. Poison.
• "Chain of Custody" - Ok, tough enough, maybe a little too smart, but ok.
• "The Captain's Brother's Wife" - ...who screwed the French Lieutenant's Woman.  FUCK that noise.
• "No License to Kill" - No one with a penis tuned in.
• "The Halls of Terror" - YEAH
• "May the Horse Be With You" - NO
• "Photo Must Credit Joe Paxton" - WHAT
• "60 Miles to Hell" - NOW YOU ARE TALKING
• "In Full Command" - And we're cancelled, nice working with you Morty.