BRITISH SECURITY NOT OPTIMAL

The Daily Mirror's Ryan Parry got a job in September as a footman at Buckingham Palace using a false reference...

Mr Parry wrote: "Had I been a terrorist intent on assassinating the Queen or American president George Bush, I could have done so with absolute ease.

"Indeed, this morning I would have been serving breakfast to key members of his government, including National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice and US Secretary of State Colin Powell.

"Such is the shocking incompetence at the heart of the biggest security operation ever in Britain."

[Dammit! Never a real terrorist around when you need one! -CCPC]

[Next time, let's send Courtney Love for comic relief. -PWP]