ANCHORAGE'S PRIMARY VIOLENCE, DEPRESSION, DRINKING, DRUG ABUSE CAUSE CONFIRMED STATISTICALLY

My long held theory of available singles ratios reported, in a rather different context.

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog on the Anchorage Dating Scene....

"SO ...how many cases of Coors Light are you supposed to drink to ask that out?"

"Ahh. You can smell the desperation!"

"The dog team! Yes, yes. A wonderland of butt sniffing!"

"Don't worry about it buddy - you couldn't get laid in Vegas either."

"I haven't seen so many Dicks since Richard the III."

"This explains the giant sweatshirts."

"This Lynyrd Skynyrd song certainly gets me in the mood- to Poop!"