TOOLS FOR DEALING WITH UGLY SMEARS

We'll probably need a whole crate of these, in the convenient "large politician size" but a few rebutting facts might also come in handy. The "lying crooks and attack dogs charge" that Kerry voted against some 13 weapons systems (I guess because he wanted communists to take over our country). A more accurate report would explain that these weren't 13 individual votes but a single vote against a 1991 defense appropriations bill that was also opposed by Dickless Cheney who was secretary of defense at the time.

I think one of you guys ought to claim Sean Hannity as your butt pirate lover. For my part, I will claim Brit Hume stole my virginity after he taught me how to make a speedball. I don't see any other way....