HEROIC CLIMBS, VOL. 16

The Laird has apparently forgotten our heroic ascent of Mt. Tamalpais under the most horrific conditions.

We climbed during one of the coldest summers in memory. It was an audacious plan - we meant to travel light, in the alpine style, eschewing the "siege tactics" of other, less-committed alpinists. Of course, we used no bottled oxygen, choosing instead to "climb by fair means." The route was tough and not without risk - we followed an ancient track that had not been graded in literally weeks. Tempers frayed as we neared the Death Zone - at one point someone even mentioned Bret Easton Ellis. At that altitude there is no margin for error, so the discovery that we had run out of energy bars cast a pall of terror over the entire party. Unwilling to acknowledge the possibility of failure, we rushed the summit, making it to the parking lot just moments before they ran out of condiments at the hot dog stand.

Sure, we make light of it now, but we are altered. There is something different about us...something to do with death...