KERRY'S RUNNING MATE

I say we dispense with politics as usual. We have Kerry announce that Marcus Aurelius will be his running mate. A professional actor will be hired to memorize the Meditations, and quote from them as required:


Interviewer: As a Roman Emperor, you have been even richer than the Bush family. What are your views on personal wealth?
MA: "Receive wealth or prosperity without arrogance; and be ready to let it go."

Interviewer: What are your views on the Bush administration's attempts to use torture in its war on terrorism?
MA: "The best way of avenging thyself is not to become like the wrong doer." [I'm sure his Germanic campaigns were conducted humanely...]

Interviewer: Some believe this country has the greatest empire since Rome, others believe we have gone soft. But there is no doubt we are fatter and less popular than at any other time in our history. Your views?
MA: "Thou sufferest this justly: for thou choosest rather to become good to-morrow than to be good to-day."

Interviewer: Any other thoughts for America's leadership?
MA: "Do not act as if thou wert going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over thee. While thou livest, while it is in thy power, be good."