What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas -- And Gets Posted on Eisengeiste!

I've finally recovered from this weekend's festivities in Las Vegas (for those who don't know, I was throwing a bachelor party for a friend, let's just call him "Dr. O"). For those who know me well, you know how much I hate Las Vegas. It may come as a disappointment to you, but I no longer hate it -- nor do I love it. I just understand it better, and at the same time am more mystified by it.

Las Vegas is like a pinball machine. You, the visitor, are like the ball. If you are determined to, you can pay your "quarter", get shot up to the top of the machine, and will yourself to drop straight down to the bottom hitting as few bumpers as possible, and when you do saying "ow." It'll suck, and you're out a "quarter". But if you've got a big wad of "quarters" (preferably in $100 increments) and are willing to be bounced around that machine for a while, you may have a really good time (though you will still say "ow", only much more loudly).

I have to hand it to the group of people (whoever they are) who decided to face reality and stop pretending that Vegas was a tourist destination for families. It's no place for kids, probably never was, and probably should never be. The idea is that it's a Disneyland for adult (or, more appropriately, post-adolescent) compulsions, desires, and dreams.

The Joy of Gambling

I used to think that gambling was simply the most expensive form of entertainment invented by man. Now, I realize that this is a vast oversimplification. (Also, there is a more expensive form of entertainment that takes place in establishments that have signs in the front that say "Prostitution is Illegal", but I'm not going to go into that.) I've only gambled in casinos maybe four times in my life previous to this trip. Ever time, I lost. Everyone who loses like I do has a moment when they try to rationalize the losses as money paid for entertainment. If you do the math, or try to imagine how much more entertaining entertainment you could have had for that much money, the rationalization doesn't cut it, and you think maybe you shouldn't do it again.

Something was different this time that changed my entire view of gambling: I won. In the course of an hour I turned a $100 into $650 at the craps table, along with two of my companions, who both won much more money. Now, when losing, you make rationalizations about how you paid for entertainment. I am happy to say that when you win there is no converse rationalization about how you "earned" this money, and thus should save it like money you earn. $550 does not make you a rich man, but for one night, at least, it makes you spend like a big shot. And, in Vegas, if you spend like a big shot, friend, you are a big shot. And one night in Vegas lasts as long as you can stay awake.

I stayed awake until 7:00am, after drinking until 6:00am, and walked two miles up the strip to my hotel, to get three and a half hours of sleep before it was time to drive back to San Francisco. After 1.5 days of wondering through endless theme-park casinos, all I could visualize in my waking dreams during the drive home were bigger, bolder, and more endless theme-park casinos -- like visions into a sprit-world of Las Vegas where no dream or scheme was too big, too tastless, or too bizarre to be made reality.