October 28, 2004

My Orders

Gentlemen: I will be out of communication after early this afternoon, as I must set sail with the next tide. I wanted to share this dialog with you before I part:

First Sea Lord,

I look forward in great Anticipation to next week, when we will run the Enemy to ground! I have acquired the use of a DEMOCRACYMOBILE, to take our cause TO THE PEOPLE, in this time of greatest Need! Let us, who are Democrats, protect and defend our good COUNTRY against the Attempts of all Republicans, who this year intend to take America, our happy Country, to dispose our Liberties; to OPPRESS our Wives and Daughters; to rob us of our Property, and to teach us nothing but the damn'd Art of murdering one another!

'Til our Rendezvous in SEATTLE, I remain,

- Lieut. V.M. Marsch


And the reply...

VM Marsch, Lt.
Aboard Active
Sir-
I present my complements; You are requested and required to proceed NNW at once, and make the Puget Sound passage in Haste, making all Sail, without DELAY, or REGARD for Care or Niceness of appearance. On encountering friendly vessels, You are to signal that you are carrying despatches, and will not stop for provis - Excepting that you may make a prize of Nader's Raider, and Press her crew forthwith. At the rendevous in Elliot Bay, you shall make the private signal, and salute with three guns at 3 bells in the forenoon watch. There you shall load beer, coffee, biscotti, and best powder. Until arr you are directed to discomfit the Enemy at will, granting no quarter nor more mercy than has been shown to us, but do not miss the rendevous. These Sir are the Requirements of LIBERTY.
Right Hon. JA Bollenbach,
First Sea Lord
PS
And Marsch, at action, do not fuss about with a taking down a foretopmast and soiling her laundry. Burn, Sink, Destroy, and Bury. Also, bring good walking shoes.


3 Comments:

Blogger The Sum of All Monkeys said...

Somewhere out on the net, a carnivore device is short circuiting in a vain attempt to decode this terrorist message.

October 28, 2004 at 9:04 PM  
Blogger JAB said...

Quite right, to resist the nefarious machinations of these accursed damn fool electric mind contraptions, the language of the next American Revolution will have to be that of the first American Revolution.

October 28, 2004 at 10:23 PM  
Blogger Viceroy De Los Osos said...

Huzzah. Boiled Baby for everyone!

October 29, 2004 at 7:35 PM  

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