I Will Not Be Ignored
Easterbook ignored my letter regarding the Seahawks, so I reprint it in full here:
[Sir:]
You declaim: "rather than the Blue Man Group, henceforth the 'Hawks will be known to this column as the Dropped Passes Group."
This is an error in your usually stellar judgment. Your other team nicknames are lighthearted, and do not draw attention to teams' competitive embarrassments. We do not see the Chicago Lost Fumbles (though they led the league in fumbles lost), nor the Miami Throw the Other Team the Ball Boys (though they led the league in interceptions).
This crosses the line from playful needling to unkindness, and is unworthy of your talents.
Sign me,
Dr. X
posted by Anonymous at 1:18 PM
5 Comments:
If it's any consolation, he ignores my letters, too. Perhaps if we wrote in his perferred form, the haiku?
(Which were cute 10 years ago, but are now just the simplest form of doggerel...)
Testify Dr. X.
You know, fuck Easterbrook. He sucks. I read his column again, and guess what?
- He thinks that teams should go for it on fourth-and-one
- He thinks that blitzing is overrated
- He like cheerleaders
- His column is too long
Can his "analysis" progress beyond chronicalling every time a team punts on fourth-and-1, every time a blitz doesn't work, and every cheerleader who (according to their own bios) has read a novel? Just because he has real non-sports journalistic credentials, does this mean we should care what he has to say about football every week? What would Dr. Z say? (Probably something like what he said about former MNF commentator and Bush ass-kisser Dennis Miller, "It is like a daddy bringing out his little kid in nighties to entertain the guests with a collection of jokes he heard at school. And everyone thinks, Oh god, will he ever send the kid to bed?"
And, not to put too fine a point on it:
Haikus were funny,
Five, ten or so years ago,
Now, they are just gay
You know what I just discovered?
Soaking your turkey in brine for an hour or two before roasting is a delicious and easy way to keep your turkey moist!
So is deep-frying, I am led to believe.
Post a Comment
<< Home