That Old Liberal Trick: Counting
Keith Olbermann responds to an e-mailer who says the nation is giving up on liberal media and watching FOX News:
"Three quarters of the country has cable, and another much smaller figure has satellite television, so any cable network necessarily has something of a ratings disadvantage compared to stations carried over-the-air - but nothing like that which is imagined, and nothing which could explain the viewer totals for Monday, March 11th, 2005, between 6:30 PM and 7:00 PM EST:
ABC World News Tonight: 9,630,000
CBS Evening News: 8,110,000
NBC Nightly News: 9,810,000
Fox News (Brit Hume): 1,013,000
"Now, remember, despite the many nuances among them, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN and MSNBC are all seen, from the far-right perspective, as left-wing hogwash, or worse. So let’s look at the ratings once again, and throw in the 394,000 who were watching CNN, the 169,000 watching MSNBC, and the 121,000 who were watching CNN Headline News.
Dying Network Newscasts: 28,234,000
Fox News (Brit Hume): 1,013,000
"Looks like a 28:1 victory for the dying liberals over the ascendant conservatives..."
Of course this leaves him open to Argument B: 'See, I told you the liberal media dominates the airwaves. This is why FOX News is so important.'
posted by Anonymous at 1:24 PM
2 Comments:
I ALMOST wish I had email like his. He is so clearly pissing off the right people. For those of you who didn't read to the end of Mr. O's post, here are some fine emails and O's responses to them: --
Barbara in Tellico Plains, Tennessee:
“There needs to be a stop on people who distortes Christians who speaks out on the truth of God’s word. Christians have the right to say what ever. Put a stop on this, or first thing you know they will be doing you the same way.”
Hey, Barbara? What ever!
Lindsey at the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado asks:
“What did Dr. Dobson actually say? Not what was reported. What were his words? His words were about a tv affiliate that is funded by gay/lesbian groups?”
I knew this day would come. The Queer Eye guys have bought their own station.
Cathy writes from Norco, California:
“We have watched sponge Bob for some time on occasions. Not all its subject matter is as kosher as we’d like it to be.”
Don’t let Dr. Dobson know about your kosher concerns.
Frank from Albuquerque, New Mexico, has been good enough to reproach my “inappropriate toleration of pro-gay groups” by quoting one of America’s great writers:
“The genius of the United States is not best or most in its executives or legislatures, nor in its ambassadors or authors or colleges, or churches, or parlors, nor even in its newspapers (media) or inventors, but always most in the common people. Walt Whitman 1819-1892, American Poet.”
Um, Frank - I have a historical tidbit about Walt Whitman’s dating habits I think might interest you.
Kirtie from Oxford, Pennsylvania, apparently wrote after a struggle with the cat:
“Please try a litter harder to get your facts straight.”
Evelyn from Tigard, Oregon, had her whopper contained in her subject line:
“Subject: Misaccurate Reporting.”
And Belinda from Bossier City, Louisiana, sums it up neatly:
“I find it quite a show of hypochondria on your part that you absolutely refuse to find out the truth about Dr. Dobson’s comments…”
Sometimes they flat out stump you.
1 million?
Based on these emails, the solution is obvious:
1) Place targeted real estate ads based on the viewing habits of the 1 million lintheads who view Fox News, offering an All-You-Can-Eat Coupon at Royal Fork Buffet for responding.
2) Ads offer an amazing housing opportunity in a large, gated Christian ranch-house city committed to 100% home schooling, certified "gayless," and featuring 40 foot obelisks of six of the 10 commandments.
3) One million lintheads descend on the small tab of the US in Minnesota on Lake of the Woods.
4) Give them free broadband, but Block access to Yahoo Maps.
5) Unilaterally cede "Outer Houston" to Canada.
They'll never make it back.
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