Leadership Quiz

Your administration is deeply unpopular both at home and around the world. Do you:

1. Re-focus on a domestic agenda, trying to win the hearts and minds of your people through a renewed commitment to better governing in your own country?
2. Call in the best military minds in the country and re-think your approach to the Iraq War, combining innovative counter-terrorism tactics with meaningful institution-building and hard work to restore the trust of the disaffected world community?
3. Tell Canada to fuck off.

No, really, they did. Here are some choice excerpts from the speech delivered by U.S. "diplomat" David Wilkins, whose accent, by the way, appears to have been purchased from the Dumb Hick Department down at Central Casting:

• "I understand political expediency, but the last time I looked, the United States was not on the ballot for the Jan. 23 [Canadian] election."
• “It may be smart election-year politics to thump your chest and criticize your friend and your No. 1 trading partner constantly, but it is a slippery slope, and all of us should hope that it doesn’t have a long-term impact on the relationship.”
• "Just think about this. What if one of our best friends criticized you directly and incorrectly almost relentlessly? What if that friend's agenda was to highlight your perceived flaws while avoiding mentioning your successes? What if that friend demanded respect but offered little in return? Wouldn't that begin to sow the seeds of doubt in your mind about the strength of the friendship?"

So remember Canada, shape up. Or else.